October 19, 2017
By Anonymous

A two and a half  year “perfect” relationship getting to know this person getting close to this person’s family. I use to go to all of his family stuff every time his family would see me they would always run up to me and yell “ It's aunt jaya!” as they saw me. As he would go to mine my family always got really happy to see him and my brother would call him his brother as well. Spending days and hours doing every little thing with each other. Family time always felt the same though we’d laugh and make jokes he’d like to say “ you’re trying too hard.” Honestly I wasn't trying at all, being around his family just made me happy. After a while of spending time with someone that wasn't good for you. We use to be so close we’d do pretty much everything together. from school work to hanging out with friends. We always did our school work together because we liked to help each other out because he was bad at English and I was bad at math do we help each other because my favorite is English and his was math. Trying everything you could get it to work to see the good in this person. Spending countless hours talking and arguing about every little thing that had no little convince whatsoever. We use to argue about everything in life, no matter how big or small it really was. Working with the anger issues and self esteem problems his and mine together.

Losing a lot of friendship and losing myself.

All because of a boy that was not any good for me.

We started dating when I was in 8th grade and we got to know each other's families. I was really close to his mom and sisters, I talked to them every chance I got we talked about everything they knew all the right things to tell me. His sisters are older and have children of their own do they have already had to go through a lot of the stuff I was.Soon though I couldn’t even stand to be around him because all we did was argue, fight and bicker about the most foolish things. You know those little fights that you have with your mom when she doesn't let you go somewhere that’s how our relationship was. But I had had enough of all the stuff I went through I couldn't handle the pain and drama that I had gone through and had to put up with. I thought it would be better mentally for the both of us if we just ended it.

There was a lot of talking, begging and pleading for me to change my mind, he keep saying he could change and things would get better, but it had been through five months of bickering and losing myself to make someone happy that wasn't making me happy. We spent a lot of time trying to figure stuff out that just wasn't working. Like when you work on a class project for months and you get your grade back and you ended up failing that what that felt like to me. So after the hard break up, he keep texting me, messaging me saying stuff that you don't say to someone. He was talking about my mental health issues that I have he said, “No one will ever love you for the way you are.” Also telling me things like, “No one will ever love you like I did” or “ Nobody will ever do the stuff for you like I did.” When you love someone for so long and they start using the stuff you told them against you like, that you start to second guess if they really even cared.

It was the most exhausting thing I ever had to do. Going through trying to keep someone in your life that means the most to you, but knowing there like the smothering your fire and all they're going to do is put you out. So just to solve all of the issues with him trying to hurt me,I just stopped all means of communication I think that hurt the most from going to talking to someone every day for two years to never contact them again. Six months have passed now and even though it still hurts and you still think of I still think of him.

It’s like losing a loved one that passed away you hold dear to the memories even though you can't be close to them anymore. Even though it still hurt,I am happy with what I decide to do and I know I will soon enough be back to my old self and not have to worry about someone trying to tear me back down.

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