The Heart Breaking Pamplet

October 10, 2017
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To whoever is stupid enough to believe in love at first sight,


The chilling november night’s wind breezes by the bright blue pamphlet in my left hand as I walk her to her parent’s car with my right hand holding the left of my “dream girl”. The cool night wind didn’t stop us from taking our time through the parking lot, her heart beating so hard and so fast that I could feel it pulsing through her hand.  I get in my dad’s car and wave goodbye to her through the dirty, tinted glass of the passenger seat window, her hand waving back as well with a slight redness coming over her cheeks as the car began to drive off, I noticed a hint of redness came over my face as well. I also thought about the possibility, no matter how small, of being in a relationship with her. By God I would have understood if she didn’t even want to look at me let alone be my girlfriend, I was just a some marching band kid from a small town in michigan while she was an inner city cheerleader from Ohio.

   

The outside of her school was plain except for this huge cross hovering above the entrance of the school, her. Once you got through the entrance, it got even nicer. The school had paint accents of gold and grey paint streaming the walls and columns, the floor was so shiny I could see my reflection in it as I walked through the halls trying to find the auditorium. The auditorium was the best part though, it looked like a broadway stage with all the lights and the impressive props and set pieces that would give a hollywood set piece producers a run for their money. I thought it was all fantastic, but then again I thought she was too.


The reason she caught my eye in the first place was her beauty. Her short stature was met with almost goddess like beauty. Her tan skin was met with caramel brown eyes and dark, chocolate brown hair with golden highlights that highly contrasted from her normal hair color. Her beauty was unmatched, but being a stupid kid, that’s all I cared about. Her dress was an amazing navy blue dress with flowers, puffs, and fluffs. She looked like a dream, she was my “dream girl”. She was beautiful. If only her personality was just as beautiful.


This blue pamphlet was my golden ticket, my key to my “dream girl’s” heart. It’s bright blue cover was covered in letters that made out the words “Cinderella in Combat Boots” in calligraphy style penmanship that looks like something on the Declaration of Independence. Inside the packet is the names of everyone in the play, from leading roles in the play to the names of the stage and prop movers of the play that I had waited anxiously for over two weeks to come see after I basically invited myself to see the show and my “dream girl”. It had names all over it but it had one name in particular that I scanned over and over again with my eyes, and as I did I saw her face looking back at me in my mind. It was her name, the name of my first crush, my “dream girl”.


That pamphlet was put in box of special items so I could never lose it. That pamphlet, at least in my mind, was my entire relationship and I never wanted to let it go. I couldn’t let it go. I was way too attached to it for me to let go, even through all the lies, manipulation, and cheating she put me through, that pamphlet never left my desk, ever. All I ever did was stick by her in any way, shape, or form. I defended her through everything and nothing would let that pamphlet leave my desk, Not even the pathetic break up text she gave me, not through the days of sitting in my room wondering what I had done wrong even though I had not done a damn thing wrong compared to her and her pathetic little mind games.


Eventually the pain grew too much for me and I went off and yelled at her, which caused her to break up with me and leave for some egotistical blonde haired blue eyed basketball player. In my anger I did something I never thought I was able to do, I took the pamphlet outside and I burned it with the box of matches we keep tucked away in the house. But as I burned it, suddenly my anger and frustration went up in smoke along with the pamphlet. I didn’t feel sad, angry, or frustrated. I felt relieved that the pain was gone, I felt relieved that the stupid pamphlet was gone. I felt relieved that the stupid girl was gone. The final anchor keeping me to that hag was finally gone. All It was like a stack of weights off my chest and I could finally breathe again. It was so nice, like all the air i’ve been breathing up until that point was heavier than the air I was breaking after I burned that stupid piece of paper. Please learn from the mistakes i've made, love is work. Its effort and strife, just please know what your getting into before you start a relationship.


Sincerely,
Anonymous






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