My future could’ve been a life in a dumpster or four more years of torture had I not gone through the most torturous 3 years of my life to learn a lesson that I could never understand. The worst three years of my life may not have been a life or death situation or a scary moment for my future, however, middle school was to be a fascinating time in my life, there were struggles, adaptations I had to make, and hard choices as well. As said by my father and 1st-grade teacher, my attitude was going to bite me in the donkey, although to be fair, I was a stubborn little 9-year-old brat who would not listen to anyone. Going into middle school, I was on my high horse believing I could just go to school and get straight A’s without even trying like I had done in my past years. I thought school was going to be another year of just attending school and then getting out of there as soon as possible so I could procrastinate. However, I was in for a rude awakening as with anyone who comes in with arrogance. From the grind, I immediately started fumbling through classes and just barely making it throughout the day. Even on the first day of school, it was evident I was mentally prepared for school as I blacked out as soon as I had gone back in my green, comfy, and warm couch. As I had awoken I see a black sky through my window and the TV shining at my eyes. Had I slept through the whole day? I had, in fact, slept through the whole day and into tomorrow, little did I know, even more misfortunes were to come. In the second day of school, I had already lost all my supplies that I had worked tirelessly to find throughout the summer, causing me to go into panic mode for the rest of the semester already half of the year for my middle school career. By then, I had started to get new supplies but I had another issue, I had forgotten my locker combination I couldn’t get the useless piece of metal to open up my stuff. Even after I was given a new combination, it was already too late for me, and I was finally out of that horrific place. This was at least for 3 months, by the end of the summer I had realized I had to get organized and start focusing a little bit more on school rather than just going back home in time to play. However, it was easier said than done as I still had that irresistible urge to go upstairs to my room and just mess around. Though I wrestled with my mind for hours, nothing was done and I had completely wasted my time. This was going on for a couple weeks now and had become habitual everyday when I got home I would literally just think for hours on what I should get done and finish it but I had never reached that conclusion. By the time I had realized what I had done it was too late, I had wasted another year of middle school just barely passing my classes. By 8th grade I had felt terrible about last year and was eager to have a fresh start, I actually could not wait to go back to school. I had an exuberated feeling going into 8th grade feeling refreshed, I had actually started to enjoy going into the classroom. That is until the work had actually settled in. Day and night I would tirelessly be working no matter what staying up till 12 or 1 to finish my homework just to barely get A’s and B’s. It wasn’t until I had finally looked at myself in the mirror before I realized that there was something wrong with me, I could see my face filled with gloom drooping down. I could see my eye pockets starting to show up in my face. My eyes were no longer as bright as they once were, my smile was non-existent simply because I had been procrastinating all throughout the night and finished my homework right before I had blacked out of exhaustion. I became sick of it, and despite it being the last 6 weeks, I had vowed to try my hardest while having fun at the end after finish my work. Despite it being the last 6 weeks of middle school, I had actually had fun in trying my best in giving effort enjoying my life at last. From that point on I always tried to give my best effort into everything I do and stop procrastinating even if it means going through excruciating pain of resisting the urge to play in my room. Even when I do fall into that trap from time to time, it has gotten much easier to deal with it, and I have had a much happier life here in high school than I have had in middle school. I have changed my ways by putting more effort and finally being knocked off my high horse and narcissism. Without that realization, I would’ve suffered the fate of many other unfortunate souls who went down the wrong path in their lives through arrogance. I am grateful to have a second chance and I would wish nothing but to use the best of that opportunity to fulfill my goals and dreams.
The Age of Narcissism
October 2, 2017