I'm Lost

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Personality is defined as the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character. Now if my characteristics are coming from the combination of things I love to do I can probably conclude that I am a very outgoing person and very country.While  I do not think country defines everything I am, I am a girl that loves the woods, my boots and going shooting with my papa. I love finding turtles and looking for skipping rocks in a stream. I also love walking around a small town with my family and looking at the stars at night time trying to find beautiful paintings in the sky. I won’t mind if you call me country but in my mind, that part got stuck somewhere and I think I know where. At least I know where that characteristic of mine originated.
   

I lived in a small town called Martinsville, Indiana, and I used to go to the woods and look for turtles while counting how many times I could skip a flat smooth rock down a narrow stream. I used to find various withered vines from tall stocky trees while treading in work boots a few sizes too big. These things are kind of like second nature to me and when I was driving farther and farther from that person I once knew I realized it would be hard to get back, like trying to get a worm from a mother bird. If you run after it you will hurt the baby bird but if you don't run for it that thing what you were running after will be lost. I didn’t want to lose that part but I didn't think I was going to at the time. I thought that old Chevrolet mini van was taking me somewhere not so different, not so loud, and not so fake and generic. I thought as my home got smaller and smaller to me that I was getting closer to something bigger every mile of the way. I thought I was adding to myself not ripping something out.
   

I first had to pack all the things I wanted to keep and put them in my suitcase. I realized that these things that I have to remember events or people buy that I once used to be around every single day really does help you remember them, but can’t make that person come back or that moment comes back. It can only make you remember, remember what you had but not what you have, all you have is that ticket from a movie or a necklace that lost its shine. Something you can hold and think about nothing more. Then we got in the van with all of our things and drove away. Drove away from our home, our life, our family, and our personalities, well part of my personality. I drove away from the woods, the turtles, the stream, the deer and the people I love. A tin can on wheels took me away from an important part of me.
   

I might be country and I might be just a million miles away from the ones I love, but I know I am a fourteen-year-old girl that will always remember that day. The day when I was driven away by a black minivan to come here. To live in my small house, wonder who covered up the stars, look for trees to sit under, and stream to skip rocks at. Some things I can’t find and some I can’t replace like my nana who always talked and helped me with anything or my papa who let me go help him chop wood in the backyard to fill up the shed for the winter. I am a Hoosier because I am from Indiana, I am a weaver because my mom and got my last name from my dad and I guess, a little country.






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