The hardest thing to do is watch someone you love kill there self. It started before I even knew what it was, My father more worried about getting his high than seeing me. At first I thought it was my fault. I was always wondering what I did wrong. Why didn’t my dad want me? He broke my heart before any boy could.
Then my mom finally told me what was wrong she told me about the “demons” of life, all the different types of forms they came in and most importantly why my dad didn’t come around to see me or even ask how i’m doing. After praying so hard that the “demons” would go away, I found out my aunt had the same problems as my father. She stopped coming around, My family didn’t hear from her for weeks.
Everything was changing, every part of me broke, pain went threw me like a lightning strike. Why was this happening to the people I love? I got so wrapped up in what was going on with the people I love watching them fall apart, or since they didn’t come around I thought and heard people talking about how bad they were doing. I was mad at everyone, I didn’t want my family around me. I was constantly pushing everyone away , I kept myself locked up in my dark room all alone. Then trying to feel better I would go hang around with kids that had the same problems as the people I loved, eventually getting myself into trouble.
The kids at school noticed this change, they started calling me names all of a sudden I was a w****, skank, trash, making me feel worthless. These kids used to be my friends and now they were treating me like i’m nothing before even asking me whats wrong. My mom put me in counseling, and even though I didn’t want it my mom smothered me in love, my step dad showed me what a father was like, they never left my side .
My baby cousin lives with me, having the same feelings but I never knew until she came crying to me saying how she felt the same way I did she made me feel better knowing I wasn’t alone , she made me feel like everything was going to be okay. She is my very best friend and because of everything that's happened I strive to be the best me I can be, living everyday to the fullest. Preparing myself for the future, while being happy and still having hope for the people I love. Are you being the best you that you can be? Don’t let people bring you down because in the end everything will end up fine.