This all happened last year when I was in public school. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a freshman in high school and I was just about to turn sixteen. I was getting bullied really bad and I got into some really bad things. It was about the end of the school year in April.
I was the only girl in my English class and the guys would bully me. “Ew, can we open a window? It sticks in here.” They would say and then look at me. The teacher assigned us seats. She put Cole next to me and he would scoot all the way to the other side of the desk away from me.
I got into some really bad things, I talked to older guys online. It was a bad choice and I regret it every day. I got caught and my phone was taken away. At first I didn’t understand why it was wrong. But now looking back at it I understand.
Well it was spring break and I took my phone back and I hid it from my parents. I started talking to those guys again. Well my parents found out and I got in huge trouble. My dad took my door off of my room and I got grounded for even longer. I felt so guilty for doing it again.
Well the next day I was home alone and I couldn’t take it anymore. I went into the bathroom and said, “Nobody will care if I’m gone. It’s not like I’ll be missed.” So I got a few bottles of pills that were half empty and took them. I didn’t know what they were for but at the time I didn’t care.
A few hours later I wasn’t feeling well. My stomach hurt and I felt like I was going to throw up. My family was home at this point. My brother was in his room, my dad, mom and sister were in the living room. I went and tried to go to the bathroom because I thought that’s all it was.
Well I was wrong, and I threw up in the bathtub. I started to cry, “Mom, MOMMY I NEED YOU. PLEASE HURRY” I yelled.
“Why?” She yelled back.
“I just need you, please.” I said.
She came in the bathroom. “Okay, what do you need?”
“Mom I just got sick.” I said. She told me to get up and go lay down in bed. “I can’t get up” I told her.
“Yes you can.” She said to me.
“No I can’t, I don’t feel good.” I said and right after I said that I passed out. My mom yelled for my dad. My mom was in a panic and my dad came in the bathroom and picked me up and carried me to the living room.
By this time my brother was out of his room and in the living room. “Michael call 911 now.” My mon said.
“Open your eyes and look at me.” My dad said and softly patted my cheek. I would open my eyes and close them again. My sister was crying next to my and holding my hand. My brother came back in the room and said that the ambulance was on their way.
A few minutes later they were there and my mom looked at me and said, “Were you trying to kill yourself?”
I nodded and started to cry, “look under my pillow.” I whispered.
“Michael go look under her pillow.” My mom said as the paramedics took me outside to the ambulance. My mom rode in the front and my dad drove behind them. My brother and sister stayed home.
When we got to the hospital they took me in and to a room. They needed me to go to the bathroom and so my mom went with me and I sat down and said, “Mom I don’t feel good.” Right after I said that I fell to the floor and passed out again.
My mom yelled for help and a few nurses came and helped me and my mom. They took me back to the room and I laid down in the bed. “I’m tired.” I said. My mom told me that I wasn’t allowed because they still had to do test.
A few minutes later my grandparents came to see me when I was still in the ER. They told me how important I was and that they loved me. After my grandparents left one of the pastors from my church came to see me. He prayed with us and my parents cried. Pastor Bill prayed that I would get better and they we would take something out of this event.
After everyone but my parents left I looked at my mom. “Can you play ‘It’s Not Over Yet’ by For King And Country please.” I asked. She got her phone out and put the song on. As I listened to the song I began to cry. Not because the song was sad but because I was so scared what was going to happen to me.
A few hours later the doctors took me to the ICU. I was finally able to go to sleep. At first I didn’t want to sleep because I was scared that I wasn’t going to wake up. But my mom convinced me to.
It was the scariest thing I had ever been through. I will never forget that event in my life. It really opened my eyes to how everyone feels about me and how important I am to everyone. I now am going to therapy every other week and my therapist said that I was getting a lot better.