A Recipe for a Wardrobe Catastrophe

April 7, 2017
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One pair of high top converse (black)
One short sleeve dress (orange)
One vacation to Palm Springs (for your parents to leave on)
A month in time
Two pairs of spandex (one being three seasons too small)
Socks (green)
No experience in working an iron or washing machine
One Tide Pod

Buy a short sleeved orange dress in a size that is too small
Bring the dress home
leave it in the bag for a month
Let your parents go on vacation to palm springs
Decide you are going to wear your orange dress the next day
Take it out of the bag and realize it has wrinkles
Also make the realization you don't know how to iron
Throw the dress into the wash with one Tide Pod right on top
Once washed put the dress in the dryer, then take it out and hang it up
Go to bed at 12:00 because you had to wait for the dress
Wake up and try on the dress
Realize the dress is too small, but don’t care (yet)
Look for long white socks, but only find green. Put them on.
Grab your black converse and put them on. Embrace that you are Halloween!
Look for your good spandex to wear under your dress, but don’t find them
Put on your three seasons too small spandex
Go to school, but show up late because you were looking for the spandex
Get a Tardy, and have your friend tell you the Tide Pod left a stain on the back of your dress.
Walk around being choked by the horribly tight dress.
Enjoy the freezing school in your short sleeve dress.
Conclude that you don”t look good in your orange dress, and call it a day.

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