The Broken Promise

March 29, 2017

The broken promise was the promise we discreetly made to each other in 8th grade, do you remember? When you promised me forever? I know it’s very juvenile to think forever is actually forever, but with you, I believed anything was possible. And there you were – what seemed like forever ago – still there by my side, willing to assist me in everything.

So, I took ahold of my key and allowed it to lead me to a world of grand opportunities. Or so I thought. I was courageous enough to wait years for you to gain the same amount of courage with me and leap for the opportunity, but you didn’t. To be exact, you did the very opposite. There I was, with a broken heart, and a broken courage, but never a broken promise.

I was still there, holding on to the very promise made long ago. My courage indistinctly still there. I tried my best to propitiate you in any way possible, but nothing I said or did was ever good enough for you. I let down my guard to give you everything within me and you abused, misused, and bruised all of my trust for you. My heart continuously held on to the promise we made. A promise that I allowed to hurt my pride and weaken me. A promise that was soon to be broken.

Daydreaming mornings led to sleepless nights of me worrying if you actually remembered what was promised. I knew for a fact that it hurt me even more than it hurt you whenever we were separated. How can you even consider it love when you lack communication, affection, trust, emotion…the caliber of promises? Would it even kill you to know that I’m losing sleep, stressing about my future, wondering if you were in it? It’s all a part of that broken promise, right?

I’m gathering what’s left of my pride and what’s left of my courage and I am leaving. Loving you was hurting me and I’m through living this life.  The many excuses and broken promises are carried along my back, along with my shattered confidence. A promise is forever, at least that’s what they say. As I reminisce on your very last words, “Promises are broken everyday”.

As it seems as though I haven’t had enough, I make a promise to myself: I promise myself to never allow myself to weaken under the power of another individual. I promise to forget the ignorant mistakes of the past and continue moving on towards greater achievements of the future. I’m going to focus on giving so much time just to focus on me that I won’t have the time to stress of less important things. Most importantly, I promise myself to withhold the strengths of rebuilding the courage I once had so long that I can be true to myself. This, a promise, is one that will never break.

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