Even though her stomach twisted and she mentally kicked herself every time she let an opportunity pass her by, she couldn't help it. She was so, so tired. Putting forth effort--trying--overachieving--took so much energy. She just couldn't bring herself to care enough anymore to spend the extra hours studying or volunteering or even reading. Honestly, she could barely find the energy to care about anything anymore. Dragging herself out of bed each morning was a chore. She let conversations slip by, content to sit and lose herself in the the comfort of other people's thoughts. She couldn't even muster the energy to write...what was once as easy as breathing. Or even to think. It was just so much...took so much out of her...to think, to plan, to try, to care...even simple thoughts drained her now. Perhaps it would be better to stop. She was weary from shouldering her burdens so long, with no reprieve. Perhaps...perhaps she should stop. Play the fool. The pretty little airhead. Stop thinking. If it would relieve her of the burning fire of her fears and dreams and hopes, then she would gladly stop thinking. Perhaps forever.
March 6, 2017