I never imagined he would end up like this, I thought he was a completely different person until then.
It was within my first month of Freshmen year, life was rough, rougher than it had ever been before for me. Home problems, sick relative, grades. I didn’t need anymore on my plate. But that’s exactly what I got. And because my plate was already full, it wouldn’t take much more to shatter it. And that’s exactly what had happened.
One of my best friends and I were having a conversation, that grew into a joke, (Which it usually does) and it was a silly one, that quickly turned uglier than a blobfish. He had convinced himself that I was lying to him, or so I believed at the time, because his actions grew aggressive.
“You lied to me, so I don’t want to be your friend anymore, you’re not worth it.” Those words struck me like bullets, hard and suddenly.
‘Where did this come from? Was I really being that obnoxious?’ I had thought to myself aloud. I called him up nearly an hour later, no response. I was getting anxious. I texted him the longest apology I’ve ever written, no response. So I waited, and waited… I had finally gotten a response. ‘Now we can move past this and continue our long lasting friendship!’ I had thought. I open the message that contained the response, not nearly what I was hoping for…
“I thank you for the apology, and offer mine as well, but I don’t want to continue being friends. I just don’t like you anymore. Sorry.” I could not believe what was just sent to me, how could the kid I’ve known since Elementary be so sudden and cruel? My breathing started to speed up drastically, and I could feel tears running down my face. I was broken, I didn’t know what to do… All I wanted was my friend back.
After I had some time to calm down, I wanted a reason, a reason why he would do that to me.
“Can you at least tell me WHY you no longer want to be my friend after 7 years?” I quickly got a response that said,
“I just haven’t liked you since last year. Last year you were super annoying and I wanted to stop being friends then, but I knew that’d make me look bad, so I figured I’d avoid that by making you not want to be my friend.” That was officially the moment where everything went dark, and I lost my mind. Any sign of it was gone, the only thing left was the hollow husk that was my body. I had gone into a mental breakdown. I remember the sadness slowly leaving my mind, as anger and hatred filled the empty gaps the sadness had left.
A few months had passed since what my friends and I call, “The Incident” and if you were to ask people how I looked or how I was they would’ve said,
“He’s looking much better” But that wasn’t the case at all. My spirit had left, left the husk of who I used to be. The truth was, I was depressed, and angry, at myself and him.
‘Some friend he turned out to be.’ I’d always say to myself, hoping to make the intense pain that stuck to my side disappear.
Christmas Break, 2016
I felt like I needed the holiday, to take my mind off of any stress I had. I had invited my best friend over to spend the night, a few days prior Christmas. He was unaware of what had occurred back in September, so I filled him in, leaving not a detail out of place. He was shocked, I could tell. His tan face had quickly turned the shade of white and his jaw dropped. But, he understood, he understood my side. None of my other friends had told me this before, but he got it. He said,
“Well, if he wants to go and act like a child, then I’ll be dandy without him too.” He was my reason for staying sane, a true friend.