I remember like it was yesterday, hearing the word ‘cancer’ will bring anyone’s world crashing down like a ton of bricks. Although, I, myself have never had cancer i’ve had many close to me affected by it in some way.
As a baby, cancer was already in my life. My grandpa, my father’s father passed away. As an alcoholic, Liver Cancer got the best of him. I never truly got to know him, but from the stories I’ve heard he was a good man.
At age 7, I learned honestly how one word can affect your entire life. Having a strong relationship with my grandma, someone I will always undoubtedly look up to I always saw her happy. A successful woman always ready to cook food, play dolls, decorate, and shop. She was my best friend at weddings, and there are plenty of pictures to prove it.We’d always lay on her orange leather loveseat --being I was six feet tall then-- Covered by a smaller taupe green blanket made of a soft and fuzzy, yet silky material. Time went on and my grandma got older. Diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer she had no energy. As hard as she tried she wasn’t herself anymore, I imagine as being trapped inside someone else’s body that can’t do much of anything. You always had to be careful because she became weak and fragile.

I never really understood the amount of pain she was in until my dad’s family got together for christmas. Every year us grandkids take a picture with our step grandpa, Roger and my grandma, Susan. We usually sat on them, but this time was different. I couldn’t sit on my grandma’s lap because it would cause her excruciating pain.
A few months later my dad and uncle went up to Port Washington to visit her, to feed her, take her to the bathroom, and give her her meds. At one point my grandma asked my dad to take her to bed to sleep. My dad patiently supported her weight as they went up the staircase to the master bedroom. They said their “I love you”s and goodnight and my grandma drifted off to a peaceful sleep. My grandma never woke up after going to sleep that day. My piece of my heart died the day I found out she had passed. No new memories could be made, she was gone. I realize more and more as I grow older how much of life and change she’s missing and how I wish she could see where I’ve gotten. A varsity basketball player taking to AP classes as a junior. My grandma was and will always be the clear definition of success and a well lived life. I’m glad she is no longer suffering, my grandpa as well. Maybe they found each other on the other side and caught up.