Breaking Friendship

July 21, 2016

Hello, my name is Andrew, and welcome to my memoir. Here I will be writing about the evolution of a certain friendship, from start to current end. Let us begin.

It all started about a quarter of the way through sixth grade, I had needed help with something, so I had sent out a plea to my best friend at the time and the, “friend,” I'm writing about, since he was dating her during that time period. He and I almost instantly clicked. We would always hang out, and try to sit next to each other in class. I would help him on assignments he didn't understand and vice versa. All was going well, until we went on a certain field trip.

Our grade and the grade below us went down to Grand Rapids for a day. It was a fun trip, don't get me wrong, but I have done my best to erase it from my memory because of the events that transpired on the way home. We had stopped somewhere to eat and I was sitting with him and some of his friends. I can't remember what led up to it, but I must have said something that set him off. He said he hated me. My world was crashing down around me at the sound of my best friend saying he hates me. I sat there, feeling stupid, wanting to cry.

The rest of the bus ride was quiet for me. I sat by the window and stared out it for a while. Part of the way through, someone must've sensed my distress, because I heard from her, “Are you alright?” I was shocked that someone had figured me out, and scared to tell, because of what could happen. I said I was fine, not wanting to trouble her, and the topic was dropped instantly.

When we had arrived at home, I noticed him walking by as he was going to get picked up by his parents. One thing, however, was different. He wasn't hanging out with any of his friends, and he didn't look even remotely happy. I figured he was upset by something, or upset over what he said to me. I chose to ignore it, for now.

The next few weeks were torture, because every day, I had every class with him. I remember saying things within earshot of him and hearing him said, “This is why nobody likes you.” Every time I heard it, the hole in my world grew bigger and bigger.

I had asked him to, “give me another chance,” and, “let things go back to the way they were between us,”. And he agreed to it. I couldn't have been happier, but what came next surprised the both of us.

By the end of sixth grade I had noticed myself feeling strange things for men. I had labeled it as being, “bi,” because I thought I still had feelings for women. The start of seventh grade, however,changed that.

I learned that I felt nothing romantic toward women and only toward men. A specific one in fact. My best friend, who was previously mentioned. I was somewhat embarrassed about it at first, but I grew, “comfortable,” with it. He did, eventually find out, and things between us grew awkward.

In the middle of 8th grade, which was this last year, I got rid of my crush on him. I told him, and we went back to normal. Goofing off together, helping each other in assignments. It was great, until I came to a realization recently.

Now, in July of 2016, I finally realized something about him. He only ever really talked to me when he needed an answer or help with something, and he never helped me in return. I was blind to it before, but now. I can see it clearly.


So for the first time since we got out of school I saw that he opens messages that I had sent him. I sent him another, and he opened it, another, opened, repeating again and again until finally, he responded. Saying a few derogatory things towards me and being an outright jerk. Saying the I was, “spamming,” him and he had told me not to. He had not once said it to me, so how was I supposed to know? He told me not to talk to him, so I didn't. I blocked him. On every possible platform I could find. And I haven't felt even a pang of regret toward my decision. I'm finally without hi deranged in this world. At least, for now.

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