I was laying on the cold, hard, oak floor gazing down at the caramel dog. The silky dog had been sinking into the carpet after five hours resting his old eyes. The other kids had gone off to play with my big brother, Ally. From the other room, I could hear the giggles.  The wind outside made the windows howl and shake, and despite all the chatter in the room, I knew nothing but that I had to peel off this ugly dress. Mummy had made me button the six buttons down the back, and my white tights were pulled up over my stomach. She had told me to keep my hair nice and neat, but I saw no reason as to why I had to keep the curls long and down my back.

Mickey’s long hair would stay stuck up in the front with gel. Round gold-rimmed glasses made his eye’s aqua color prominent and strange looking. He was a fish from the day he moved in down the street. Everyone had on ties, even the big kids who would play ping pong in the garage at parties like this. At least, it looked like a party while everyone was around. My tiny quarter-inch nails were painted pink, and I pet the dog’s head.

“Wake up, Jacky! Jacky…” Mickey pleaded before yelling into the floppy ear of the fat old pup.

“Try it like this,” Mickey explained after pulling a curly strand to get me back from the sighing dog. “Jack, ol’ boy. We wanna play, come out.” He tried to coax the dog. The dog lay silently, not lifting his eyes just staring across the room.Mickey shrugged back at me, “Sorry, Ducky.” He stood up from his knees, black suit pants with button down suited him, but the tie was just ugly!

The clink of metal on glass rang through all the rooms of the house which all had open doorways with nothing but door scarves. I looked up from sitting on my stomach and Aunt Clara called for me from the couch.
“Omorfi mou, come, come!” I sat up abruptly and turned towards her suddenly. She sat me on her hip between her and Lassie, the attractive policeman nextdoor.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here. I’m so glad you could make it, and not mourn the loss of Grump’s life… But celebrate how he bound us together, and how much of a great life he made here so we could all have glorious lives as he did….” My uncle Shawn said raising a glass of white wine. Uncle Shawn’s wife clapped for him a few moments later, and placed her hand on her very large stomach.

“Loss we didn’t lose him, he’s gone. Not lost,” My controversial cousin Debby said and puckered her sparkly pink lips as she fluffed her ponytail and smiled at David. David had been glancing her way, but  she had been applying whole pounds of makeup to her skin. No wonder when women get old, our faces sink and droop like Jacky’s eyes.
“Deb, hush now.” Aunt Clara said to the brat of a girl Deb was. If I said one off color joke, Mum would’ve had her words with me. 

Oblivious, in my mind, I had registered people speaking of the “death” and “the loss” of Grumpa. But, I hadn’t known then what those words meant until the next morning.

My red, sparkly Wizard of Oz themed ballet flats stood before the box-like piece of wood containing something I had not yet come to know. Mum had pleaded with me to wear black flats earlier in the morning.

“Julia Isabelle, please, would you take off those horrendously mismatched shoes.” She pleaded with me and placed her hand on her face. My stepfather, Pete, came over to comfort her. Ally picked me up and opened the door walking out to the minivan outfront. Pete closed  the front door behind my mum walking in a black pencil skirt with a white button down top and red petticoat with ballerina fluff underneath.

Pete drove silently, and I put on my headphones and scrolled on my kindle for some violin music that Grump would play. Beside me, sat my pink, bedazzled violin. Vivaldi screeched in my ears, and as we arrived in the vast sea of slabs of stone encrypted with names and numbers until I faced the darkness lurking, the presence of the box frightened me. Alec clutched my hand, a fifth the size of his, and we stood next to the very many crying people.
“May we leave our handprints along the casket, and always be carried with him. My violin clutched in my opposite hand, I let go of Alec’s hand and reached out to the cold wood. I knew then in my heart he was gone. The memories of him danced in my head, and I had known he was gone. But my heart opened and accepted the loss.
I pulled my hand away and pulled my instrument free of its chains and grabbed my bow. I began to pluck the strings away softly, until the bow glided ever so sweetly along the string. The music hung like words in the air, and dissipated as new notes sang from the violin passionately. With every drop of a finger, a new word came free, and sang a song of beauty. The autumn air hung cold with the breaths of dragons as I felt myself more mature, and much older than I was then.