iMessage | Teen Ink

iMessage

December 19, 2014
By Aurora Miller BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
Aurora Miller BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Tears stream down my face as I set down the phone. I can’t keep doing this! My heart throbs for my sister, convulsing into a twisted mass with every passing second. She knows this is bad. She knows that what’s happening is wrong. Yet here I am, locking away another secret.

                                                                          .    .    .

Okay, time to text, I thought. I reach into my pocket to pull out my iPhone. My math lesson was over, signaling a perfect opportunity to contact my sister. I spent the day worrying about her, so I was eager to finally know how her day had been. Constantly, I would fear for the worst. Never knowing how to help her with her struggles, I result to sending her a text everyday.


She’s only nineteen years old and has experienced what the average person might never endure. For starters, she told me she was pregnant about three years ago. I had been so confused. I was still pretty young, thirteen or fourteen years old, and I never would’ve thought I would be an aunt so young. It was big news for the both of us I guess. Later, I got used to the idea of my sister as a mother. But about a year later, my mom comes home with grieving news. Around the time of the pregnancy, my sister had been diagnosed with cancer. I wasn’t too worried at the time because it was an insignificant type of cancer, although I cannot remember what it's called. My mom said it was about eighty three percent curable. I had decided then that everything would turn out all right and we had nothing to worry about. But that kind of thinking never ends well, as we all know… Months later, I get the news that’s she’s much worse. The disease had returned aggressively. The details are too painful to write at the moment, but all I know is I can no longer take her for granted. Nowadays, the father does nothing to help her and our grandparents keep giving her crap for not entering the cancer programs they arrange for her. This would be understandable only they never informed her about it once. Can’t they see that she doesn’t want to be trapped in a hospital all her life? Especially one that’s miles from her home!
    

I think about how terrible I am for not having a better alternative. Surely I can brighten her day with a little better than a simple, “What’s up?” I unlock my phone. Oh well… I fumble with the buttons and type:
Howarya??
    

Send. Locking my phone, my focus returns to the assignment on my desk. I begin solving the complex equations as I wait for her response. What if she’s stuck at home cleaning again? X equals cube-root of three halves… She can’t live like this forever… negative infinite less than X less than one… I’ve got to do something… But what? Swoosh! My phone signals a new message. I glance over and quickly grab the phone. Peering into the screen, I read:
idk how are you
I respond and the conversation continues.
Me: Good… Is something wrong?
Her: Nahh, wat did you do today?
     

Please don’t do this! Not again… My mind races with different scenarios she could be keeping to herself. Is she still having issues with grandma and grandpa? Is Isabelle causing more mischief? Is Martin giving her trouble? My head starts to ache. I decide to refrain from inquiring further and attempt to keep things positive.
Me: Go to school…
Her: Well yeah but anything exciting lol
Me: Uh.……….. (I think for a moment.) No
Her: I miss you
    

My heart snaps at the response. The tears in my eyes beg to be released but I keep them in even though crying is all I want to do at this point. Lord, what can I do for her? I can't stand this any longer… Silently suffering, I sulk in my seat. I then type in my reply, wishing I could somehow rescue her from the hell that she's been living.
Me: :’( I miss you too…
     The bus ride home was pretty uneventful. I sat the whole way thinking about my beautiful sister. Praying that she was okay.
                                                                        .    .    .
Her: Wyd right now lol
What am I doing right now? I realize I’ve been sitting here for nearly thirty minutes.
Me: Homework
Her: Oh wat subject
Me: History :P
Her: I like history
    

Oh yeah, that’s right! My sister had recently told me that she is going back to school in January and I’m really happy for her. She’s planning to finish her high school credits and to continue her schooling further by attending college. I’m extremely glad that she has decided to do this. She’ll have a plethora of different opportunities of course, but more importantly, she’ll have a break from her stressful home life. Hopefully then she will be able to find someone to babysit her daughter every now and then. Hey! Maybe I can do it. Feeling slightly better, I reply:
Me: Yeah? That’s good.
Her: YEAH muahahah
That was the last text we sent that day.



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