I drove by your house yesterday. Everything came flooding back. I saw the tires spinning. I saw the kids playing in their yard. I saw pictures of you. I saw my arms and yours. I smelt your perfume. It was like I was watching you and me. I saw your moms grey car, the one that’s kind of boxy from the back. I saw Olive Garden and 7-eleven. I wanted to cry right there, because I knew that things would never be like that way. But I couldn’t let a tear roll down my cheek because things have changed. I can’t be with you, and it’s for the best. I wish I could redo our relationship and change it into something that could be real right now. I miss you, and who you were. Not the girl I knew when I last saw you. I wonder if you miss me like I miss you, or if you think about be frequently. I just wish everything were okay, like when we first met in the middle of 6th grade. I just miss searching for you after every one of my classes. I miss the way you smell, and the way we could cry in front of each other and not give a s***. I still have a bottle of your old perfume, and sometimes I have to smell it. I also still wear your clothes. They used to mean something to me, but now they feel like my own. That’s how long it’s been. I can’t imagine you ever reading this, but you would know if you did that it was me. I hope you are doing something really fantastic with your life. I surely am.
The Way Things Used to Be.
July 24, 2014