The Day of Loss | Teen Ink

The Day of Loss

April 16, 2014
By The_Invincible_Writer BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
The_Invincible_Writer BRONZE, Kalispell, Montana
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Brush it off, You're Fine"


Normal day, wake up by my mother turning on the light across the hall forcing me up and out of bed for school. Get up and take a shower, get dressed, have breakfast, wait for everyone else to be ready to go. Walking out the Door yelling “Bye Mom, Love you!” Not realizing it could be the last time i can say that.

Go to school, class as usual, some boring lectures, same stupid homework. School ends time for football practice. Lace up my cleats, tighten my belt with a cinch and a pull, strap the pads on, time to run. Practice is the same. A little running, practice the plays we know, go over the new stuff we’ll need for Friday, finally done.

Going into the locker room, smelling the sweat trying to be covered up with Axe body spray, like a boy who has a newly found love for the feminine side of humanity. The boy’s unlacing their cleats, the clacking of metal hitting metal when the straps are released from their securing holsters. I’ve got my knee high socks, shorts, tee shirt, and sneakers on. Looking weird and funny as a cross breed of teenage boy with the mental stability of a 10 year old who just learned to dress himself. Asking time and time again to use my teammates phones to call my mom, who was suspiciously not there. I left several messages until my friend of many year’s step dad showed up to give me a ride. I gave him a weird look when he told me to get in.

“Where’s my mom?” I ask confused

“She had a seizure” he says expressionless, almost sadly.

“Ha, Ha, funny, Seriously where is she?” I say getting more and more confused.

“She’s in the hospital, she had a seizure today” he said trying to explain to my 13 year old self.

So we drove to my house and got some things for entertainment, while we sat at the hospital waiting for the results. Grabbed the laptop, my cellphone, and a few other things as we rushed out the door to get there.

it was silent all the way to the hospital. Just the slight hum of the wheels on the pavement.

Getting to the hospital I see my dad, being a smaller version of my self now I run and hug him. Asking several questions like “what happened”, “Why are we still here”, “when can she go home”? We waited patiently while the doctors flew by us like race cars on a race track. Yelling out random colors and numbers and big words i never would have understood then.

More and more familiar faces show up. By the time everyone was there the whole waiting room was filled with friends, family, and love people, We got in a circle and prayed that she would come out of this. The youth pastor at our church then came by and bought me some dinner while we chatted about what could possibly be facing.

The longer we Waited the more i Grew anxious to know what was going to happen. As night fell many of the pedestrians, that were there for other reasons, claimed couches, chairs, and spaces on the floor. Me? I found a nice computer desk, a rolling chair, and the laptop. Playing games watching random YouTube videos, all to keep my mind off of what was really going on. As six o'clock came up I watched as my dad rolled off the couch, put his shoes on, and start walking around. Being as exhausted as i was i stole the couch to sleep a little.

Nine o'clock came by like a subway train with no breaks. Shaken awake by another pastor, i got up and got ready for what was to come. He pulled me aside and waled around with me. We walked outside, inside, all around talking about what this all meant. Breathing the last bit of summer air and thinking.

As we get back to the waiting room, the doctors give us a sign to come in to another room. Puzzled I followed. The room was filled with a table and chairs surrounding the table. I plop down on the one behind my dad.

Looking right into my fathers eyes the doctor says “It doesn't look like she is going to make it.” with a look of compassion trying to make it look like he cared enough to try.

My dad says calmly and “You mean there is absolutely nothing you and do?”
Tears welling up in my eyes the doctor looks at me and says”No sir, she has bleeding on the brain, we watched her over night and it got bigger. There is no way of releasing it.”

“So that’s it. You’re giving up!” I exclaim.

“Son, there is nothing we can do from here on.” the doctor said looking at my plumped out face from baby fat.
We leave the room and go outside to meet up with my moms friends who were taking care of my first little sister while we were stuck at the hospital. Sit down at a picnic table and give my 5 year old sister the horrific new I’ve ever given someone, let alone my own sister.

We pack up all the blankets grocery’s and my bag of snacks a friend brought to me the night before and head home.


The author's comments:
The day my mom died

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