You know you love someone when every line, divot and curve of them is memorized. When you can look at them and know the story that made their mouth set in a firm line or their eyes burn and brighten with excitement and wonder. It was like that looking at him, the wide set shoulders; strong from the rough childhood we both wish he never had. The divot in his chest where the small bone stuck out, reminding me that despite what I believed he had flaws too. His strong jaw and stubble covering his chin, “like a mountain man,” we had joked. The hallow behind his ear that I kissed when his head rested in the crook of my neck telling him everything would be okay on scary nights. His deep blonde hair, sand colored and thick and ragged. It always reminded me of a cowboy, I could see him working on a ranch in the heat, running his hands through his hair in wrangler jeans. His smile more perfect than anything, the pink corners up turn and the nearly straight teeth with the smallest chip in the front tooth- which he hated but I thought showed character. He wasn’t tall but the perfect height for me to get on the balls of my feet to kiss him when he least expected it.

My favorite part of all of him was his arms; strong and honest and safe. But the best part was knowing it was all mine and feeling like the luckiest girl alive. He took being redneck literally, his back and neck burned red then brown from summer labor. I still imagine him walking on water, fixing his jeep with oil all over the swirls of his hands, lying next to me with those big eyes and long eyelashes. Loving me like he did a year ago.