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Tick, Tock, Stupid Clock

I was only in second grade. I was careless and naive to the world. Naive was a good thing though. Naive meant that I didn’t understand my parents fights or why my mom cried a lot. Naive was good, up until that day.

I had found my mother lying on her bathroom floor. The first thing out of my mouth was, “SIlly mommy, adults don’t lay on the floor!” But she didn’t get up. The naive part of me was still in control as I grabbed the telephone off of the countertop and dialed my dad. I didn’t know what I was gonna tell him, but with each ticking second that came from the clock, the naive part of me clouded more of my brain.
“Daddy, mommy won’t get off the floor.” Each second that he took to reply, the ticking grew louder, and my mother died a little more from the inside.

“Let me talk to her.” He never got the chance. “Mommy, isn’t awake daddy, she’s asleep on the bathroom floor.”

“Guacamole,” He called me by my nickname, “Try to wake mommy up, I’ll be home soon. If some nice men come to the door before I get home, let them in. If you can’t get mommy up, go pack up a bag with snacks and toys for you and your sister.”

I never did understand what he meant, but the naive part of me told me, “Go do it. Your daddy said to. Let those nice men in and pack the bag.” 10 minutes of the ticking clock, and my dad was home as were the nice men. One told me his name, but the naive waved it away and blocked it from me. Naive said it wasn’t important. That he was just a nice man.

I had the bag packed when my grandparents showed up. My dad got into the big boxy vehicle that sat in my driveway, with mommy, and I got to go with grandma and grandpa and Julia. Grandma told me we were going to where her and my mommy worked as nurses and that mommy had to spend a few days there. That few days would be an actual few weeks. The naive just told me to eat snacks during the hours of listening to that clock tick. Grandpa walked me around with Julia, but I never got to see mommy or daddy. It was really dark out and grandpa was still giving Julia and I candy and pop.

The naive ignored that saying, “It’s Grandpa, he normally lets you have cake for breakfast, so is this really all that different?” I agreed with it. The clock ticked by and my daddy finally came, gave me a hug and a kiss and told me he would see me after school tomorrow. For several days, Grandpa and Grandma lived at my house while my daddy and mommy were at the hospital. I missed them, but I liked living with Grandma and Grandpa. It was fun.Naive agreed with me, it was fun. Naive didn’t even let me begin to think that something was wrong with the fact that my mom and dad weren’t home.

Years later, naive still lives with me, but now I know that my mother almost died of an ectopic pregnancy. She would have possibly died if I had never gone and checked on her. Naive had led me to do things I didn’t even think of at the time. Naive ran my life for me and blocked out the pain. Naive protected me from things that were too ugly for my young and innocent mind. Naive no longer blocks for me, because I now know, naive can be as ugly and stupid as a ticking clock. Tick. Tock. Tick.




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