So why did you lie to me?

August 20, 2013
Falling for someone is no good if they don’t truly like you back. I mean, why get all worked up and have your heart flutter when your phone vibrates at midnight? He’s only gonna break your heart. So why did you lie to me?

I thought this was an exception to the rule. He seemed so sweet and down to earth. We understood each other. It’s always a good time with him and his sweet smile. Laughs all around. We often got caught finishing each other’s sentences. So why would he lie to me?

Sometimes I lie in bed at night, pondering the level of truth in those sweet words he spoke to me once. Sleep evades me. How could he say all those things and not mean any of it? I guess it’s easy to lie through a txt. “Awwwwwww that sucks (that you’ve never had a boyfriend). Guys need to open their eyes. I’m saying this as a friend but you’re pretty, awesome, fun to talk to/hangout with, you’re smile is amazing, and you’re beautiful.” I asked him once what he looked for in a girl. “Oh sweet, down to earth, easy to talk to, fun to hang around sooooo..... someone like you....” So why would he lie to me?

The day finally came. We both had always loved the song “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes. “I’ve got to tell you something,” he said. “Anything,” was my reply. He said: “I want to wrap you up, I want to kiss your lips, I want to make you feel wanted.” Guess we weren’t going to the dance as just friends anymore. So why would he lie to me?

Only three days after asking me out, he texted me saying how it wasn’t going to work. It was over winter break, so I hadn’t even gotten to see him since that wonderful night when he texted me song lyrics. He said he didn’t want to split up me and my jealous friend. Just because she had gotten all b***y to me, he was gonna hurt me too. It didn’t seem right. “We can still go to the dance if you want,” he said. I agreed. But why would he lie to me?

It was the night after the dance before he finally told me. Pretty much everyone else had already heard, but they were too stupid and mean to tell me the truth. He had felt bad for me for never having a boyfriend. That’s why he asked me out. Only that. Is that really why he lied to me?

How could he have been planning this for so long? How could he say all of those things and not mean it any one of those times? A part of me still hopes and dreams that some of it is true. That that wasn’t the only reason he had asked me out.

I can never tell now in class whether he is just spacing off, or if he really is staring at me. He gets this sad reminiscent look on his face like he regrets it all. I hope he does. I hope he knows what he’s done. I hope that every time he hears our song on the radio, he kicks himself for not hanging on to me. I know that every time I hear “Wanted”, I ask myself why.

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TheSkyOwesMeRain This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 28, 2013 at 6:34 pm
Aww, I'm sorry :( 
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