November 21st

July 24, 2013
"….Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple, and sometimes Goodbye’s the only way….."

Shadow of the Day- Linkin Park

I know this too well- all too well. I remember staring at the computer screen and feeling my whole body go completely numb. In big letters, as if it was rubbing it in my face even more, it said ‘Demetri went from being “single" to “In a relationship" with Sequoia’ As if my name hadn’t been in that same spot only moments before. Tears welled up and began to stream uncontrollably down my cheeks. Three minutes? I was impressed, it took him only three god forsaken minutes to forget about and replace me. I slammed the computer shut and walked calmly to my room, gently closing the door behind me. Deny. Deny. Deny. I thought to myself. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t lie to myself. Before another thought even crossed my mind, I found my face buried in a pillow, sobbing hysterically. Luckily, I was home alone, so nobody would see me in this pathetic state. My phone began to ring.

"I always knew that you’d come back to get me, and you always knew that it wouldn’t be easy…"

It was Demetri; obviously I was pissed as hell, so I just let it ring.

"…to go back to the start to see where it all began. Or end up at the bottom to watch how it all ends."

I threw my face back into my pillow, ‘Go Away’ I whimpered,

"You tried to lie and say I was everything. I remember when I said, I’m nothing without you."

I just stopped caring at this point and flipped my phone open, holding it to my ear with my teeth clenched.

"Morgan…?" His voice sounded strained and full of raw pain; the deceitful swine.

I’m so sorry. I love you. You’re everything to me. I didn’t mean it when I said goodbye.

"The hell do you want?" I snapped, letting more tears roll down my cheeks.

"Are you mad at me?"

I scoffed, “What was your first clue?"

He sounded abashed and quite taken aback from the hostile tone in my voice, “I don’t know… I’m honestly still in disbelief and shock. What did I do wrong?"

Baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. I’m the problem and I don’t deserve you. It’s all my fault. And I know we said forever but that can’t happen cause I’m too selfish. Please don’t cry anymore.

"Like I said, It just wasn’t working. Okay? Are we done here now, cause I don’t wanna talk to somebody who couldn’t even see me more than twice a month, if that."

"Morgan, Please."

"Leave me alone"


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