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Infinite

There was this girl. She wasn’t the prettiest girl in the world, but she had this simple beauty to her. A kind of beauty that you could only see when you knew what went on in her mind. Every day when she wakes up to go to school, she watches the sunrise because she thinks that the colors are so beautiful. She steps outside and breathes in the cool morning air and wonders what today will hold for her. She feels like she can see the whole world through her backyard and she gets this feeling of infinite joy and the only way she can let it out is smile and laugh. She doesn’t care if she looks weird laughing for no reason because she is so happy that nothing can touch her. She sees beauty in little things, and she has a hard time describing them to other people because how can she describe this pure beauty and all these wondrous things in just a couple words! So she keeps it to herself, happy and content.

With infinite happiness though, there is also infinite sadness. She wakes up, and all she can see is ugliness. She’s ugly, the world is ugly, and everything is hopeless and disappointing. All she does is judge herself. Why are you so weird? You are so fat. You’re such a loser, get a life. She doesn’t like to let other people see her sadness though, so she hides it with a smile. Then that sadness turns to anger. She is mad at her friends for not asking what’s wrong. She is mad at her family for not caring enough. Then the nasty cycle is back, and she is angry at herself. Why she isn’t good enough. Then she is sad once again. She hopes that she falls asleep and it will all be better tomorrow, depressed and lonely.
That girl is me.



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