Forever MIne

January 23, 2013
By , Goffstown, NH
Weekends aren’t the same anymore; they used to be filled with eventful moments. Moments with at least three guys running around my house screaming some sort of nonsense. Thinking they were sneaky opening up drawers when in all reality they were as loud as a stampede of elephants. I just step back and remember those times the times when I was in awe of how perfect I thought they were how they were all so cute. There was one who was the cutest to me though, his name was Luke. I was only seven when I met him but right when I saw him I thought wow he is perfect, we can get married a live happily together forever. Well forever did last as long as I was hoping for. It only lasted 7 years because Luke was taken away from me, our forever didn’t last. Our forever got stopped by brain cancer.

Throughout a 1 year span Luke went from an athletic teenager to a boy who looked sick and in pain all the time. Looking at him in his last week of life lying almost life less in a hospital bed on a floor with other kids who knew that they were never going home that this was their final destination. Walking down the the hallway looking into the rooms seeing the colors of the walls fade from high gloss paints to rooms with calm pale yellow walls, listening as you are traveling down the hallway realizing that the farther down the hallway you get the more calm and more peaceful place you were in, there weren’t doctor and nurses flying around the hallways as there was on the other floors. This was the floor for the children to spend their final time on earth. Listening to him mumble words because his speech was one of the many things that the tumor took away from him, but looking at his face I could still see that smile. The smile that I had loved, the smile I had seen over 8 years, a smile that brought me back to the good time. The times when he would chase me around my house telling me “Tessy I only want one hug then I will leave you alone.” I wish that I wouldn’t have pushed those hugs away because today I wish that all of the hugs that I took for granted could have lasted 5 seconds longer, those 5 seconds could have added up to one last goodbye hug that I never would have forgotten.

The last hug is one I will never forget, sitting the pale yellow room at the end of the hallway staring at this almost life less Luke, his appearance may be different he may have soars all over his face, he may have had swollen cheeks, he may have not been able to move any part of his body , he may only open his eyes when he was in pain but he was still Luke. I hated having to leave the hospital I hated not being by his side while his life was quickly coming to an end. I sit in the chair holding his hand hoping he knows I am here for him, hoping by some miracle that god would save him. “Tess we need to leave , it 11:30 , you have school tomorrow ,say see you later because we will be back down on Sunday it only two days” I lean in close wrap my arm around his body and whisper “ Thank you”. I stay strong until I hit the bottom floor of Boston Children Hospital seeing happy faces drove me insane , seeing people smiling ear to ear because their loved ones were going home made me furious. It wasn’t fair. That the thing about cancer it isn’t fair it shouldn’t happen to anybody but it does.
Luke is my angel he is the person that when I am having a rough day I just sit back and think of the things he taught me. I relies that people all around the world are dyeing and life needs to be enjoyed and not wasted worrying about stupid issues that mean nothing in the long run. My angel Luke has made me relies that I am strong; I have the strength to move on even if he isn’t right next to my side anymore. Thank you Luke thank you for coming into my life, thank you for being my hero but most of all thank you for bringing me smiles laughter and memories that will never be forgotten . Thank you Luke, I love you.

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