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Perverted Jokes and Donuts

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It was a cold December night. The house was filled with the cheer of a christmas fast approaching. I remember sitting in a cold basement trolling the internet. My mouth had dried up and needed to be moistened. I went upstairs to fill up a now empty cup of sweet tea, but before I reached the top of the stairs I heard sobbing. When I reached the top of the stairs I saw my mom talking on the phone and crying softly . When she saw me she attempted to bottle her feelings up as quickly as possible. After she managed to put a strong face on she gestured for me. She grabbed me and embraced me as her tears started to fall again. She held me for a bit continuing to cry. I still hadn’t learned what was causing this reaction. Then she backed up and began to say something, but a hard sob stopped her. She took a minute to control her breathing and then started again “there’s something wrong with your uncle.” I couldn’t catch the words that were floating around in my head for long enough to spit them out. She began again “Aunt Jo jo went over to his apartment because he wouldn’t pick up your grandmas phone calls, and when they got” she had to stop again. This time she controlled herself quicker. “They found him face down in the hallway.” After she spoke those words she lost grip of her emotions. It was like they slipped out of her hand as the words she spoke distracted her. She broke out crying, but I stood there with the same expression on my face, and the same feeling in my head. My mind couldn’t grasp it right away, and in all honesty it still hasn’t. I still can’t take hold of the fact that I can’t walk into a family event and see my uncle’s face with a smile on it, and a perverted joking resting on his lips. I will never wake up to him in the kitchen with a bag of donuts, and a smile. I will never come home to him on the floor biting my dogs tail, and I will never ever see him again.





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