The cacophonous nights are in reality, silent. The screams, are nonexistent. I know it was a dream. The scene just wont leave me alone. As the sun rises my mood darkens. Another day, another fear. The window I stair out isnt big enough to capture the horror Im about to face. As the panic of a new day sets in, the alarms to wake my family members go off at separate intervals. Shocking me into reality. No, I cant ignore these feelings. No, I cant change who I am or what I fear. I can take more and more pills to silence the pain. Sad? Doctor ups my dosage. Therapy brings up old demons, and makes it hard to lay them back to rest. Another pill makes me feel mild relief... but I cant continue blocking out the pain. I have to face this. I need to relieve my soul of this darkness. I need to sleep a night without thoughts disturbing me. Just sleep. No pills. Empty my soul.
When life takes a turn
August 17, 2012