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Rhythm

Rhythm is in everything and everything withholds rhythm. Life is rhythm. This is one of the things I’ve learned in life that helps me persevere. So many times where rhythm mattered, and was important to remember in times of joy and sorrow. From the time of every human being's creation there was rhythm. Rhythm in the sex to make us, rhythm in the heart beat that forms, rhythm in the push to birth us, rhythm in the steps we take, the breath we breathe, in all of movement… we move to the beat of life in a moment of impulse; some more impulsive than others.

The rhythm of a phone ringing... I didn’t know what to expect or where we were anymore, and I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to hear those words spout from his mouth. Before then I’d been anticipating it, unsure of my reaction I didn’t know if I would be relieved or heart-broken. Unfortunately it was the latter, but the inner force of that would rhythmically push me towards a new beginning… regardless of whether it was wanted or not. I’d begin to mend what was broken with liquid metal supplemented with the hard work of turning dreams into reality. I was no longer in a compound, but a unit marching to the beat of my own drum; a team player turned self-supported athlete running in a frosted haze of becoming.
Rain mixed with sweat trickling to the curve in my eyelashes, I blinked quickly to make the formula drop to a raised knee that was forcing my body through a path of mud and grass. All I could hear was my hair whipping in the wind and my own splattering footsteps. The other cross-country athletes were probably trying to get on the rhythm to my running, wondering how I was so consistent even in the harsh weather that poured down on us at Regionals. They didn’t know I was running to the sound of my thumping, roaring heart that I’d had when I got that phone call. I wouldn’t snap out of this thumping until I reached the “800m To Go” marker; I thought about my own life and how dare I think about heartbreak at THIS very moment, “How dare you. This is your moment; you’ve practiced for this for the longest, think about your own future and blessings that you hold. You are your own worst enemy. Have a rhythm of your own!” Then I panicked.
My ribs caught hold of my lungs and restrained them from their normal function. As I fell to the ground in a pool of flesh and tears, the athletes ran past me probably thinking, “I knew she couldn’t keep that up forever.” This assumed thought gave me an even worse heart break, and it came from me only. That’s when I realized that I was hurting worse than I was before; this may seem bad but in my eyes it was actually good because that meant that I had the power to give myself the best and worst, and no one else could control that or take that fact away from me. I was the true beholder of my emotions, because God gave me self-control and the wisdom to know how and when to use it. Though many had run past me and I clearly wasn’t in the Top 10 anymore, I decided to get up and push to the finish line. I was not winning the race, but I was winning in an internal war that had been raging for what seemed an eternity. I’d mended what was broken and softened what was hard on the inside of me, letting the stabbing pain in my ribs love on me and being the compulsive rhythm I needed to keep my pace and finish. The pain loved me because it was of my own, and it was also able to be conquered.
My mother and coach caught me at the finish line, it was my first ever 5k run and they were just proud of the fact that I finished. I never was the losing type, but this time being a finisher was great for me because now I knew my capabilities. I knew now that I could win and be victorious. When I run now, I allow the sun to caress me and the rain to soothe me, I do not fight what is but I dance with it, moving to the rhythm that God sends to delight my senses with. Being so dedicated and having this love for distance running this has helped me become the captain of the cross-country team, a title that I am ever-so proud of. The rhythm of life made me greater than who I was before, and left room only for enrichment and victory. After all, my name does mean Victorious People.





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