Not Strong Enough!

The day had finally came. I had been training for this all season.

STATE! I was going to state as a freshman. I was going to state with red hair. This was the weekend I would show my dad he could be proud of me. I remember in middle school looking up in the stands at volleyball games, basketball games, soccer games not seeing my dad only seeing my always no matter what proud of me mother, but how was I supposed to impress my dad? I joined wrestling and every time I would look up when the referee would raise my hand there was my dad with a big smile on his face showing he was proud of his daughter. Now I could not mess it up. I had to continue being the best. I have to show that I am here for a reason. That I worked hard for it. I was going to try with all my might. All my little heart to go as far as I could go. Going to school that day. I was in 1st period just eating my food when a very irritated Mr walker tells me to go and get my instrument. I was not about to get my instrument and focus on music when all that was on my mind was GO HARD OR GO HOME! Then it was time. It was time for me to leave. I met up with all the other wrestlers and they told me they were going to make a tunnel for us and send us off. As I walked down that tunnel of students cheering. I knew this was it. I am not dreaming. We loaded up the vans and as I got in that very small van all I could feel is the knots in my stomach, all I could think was that this was it. This is my time. My time. Is now. On the day I was supposed to wrestle. We all went into the stadium on edge being scared we wouldn't do well. I got the book with everybody in it. I looked at the girl I was supposed to wrestle. She was pretty big. 5”11 weighing in at 172 pounds, she was lucky they gave a two pound allowance. She had so much muscle it was crazy!! I never knew a girl could look so big. I was nervous and I tried to stay calm but I knew my nerves were going to get to me. When I was wrestling her I felt her strength matching mine and next thing you know I was on. My back. Flopping around like a fish something I never wanted to be in wrestling. She had beat me. She pinned me. I was so mad, disappointed in myself. I ran to the bathroom not wanting to look at anyone. I told myself I was going to get a medal. I was going to come back even harder next round. I warmed up trying to motivate myself hearing my friend abby's voice “you better be with me tomorrow”. I was doing good winning by points. Third round 15 seconds left I was counting down 10....9...8

All I could see was the lights. I was on my back. Panicking, trying to get up. Fighting like I was fighting for my life. I was done. I had left my now broken heart on the mat. I had lost. I was arguing with myself in my head. Stay in the bathroom longer or actually go and face my dad. I wasn't going to be able to face my dad cause I had not gone as far as expected. My dad then told me “ you still have three more years. I know you can do this mija I believe in you. I LOVE YOU!! I now know that my dad was all along proud of me but he never showed it. With my dad saying that I made a promise to myself. Next year. I will place. I will hopefully be the first girl state champion, not only for myself but so my dad can actually be proud of me for a reason.





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Proud Momma said...
Jun. 11, 2012 at 9:54 am
I know how it is when young ladies need their father to be there. This was a very good story of a young lady trying to win over her Dad. But all I can say is that you need to do things for you and not for anyone else. If your parents are there then thats GREAT but if they are not it will be their loss!! Keep your head held high wrestler and I know that you will be writting another article soon stating that you are the FIRST GIRL STATE CHAMPION!!
 
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