I lingered in the doorway for as long as I could. Each second passed by at a lethargic pace, giving me more dreadful time to take all of it in. He sat there in his bed with the Star Wars comforter. His chestnut curls were matted against his head as if they hadn't been washed in days. His body was so still, I would have thought he was already gone. Slowly I walked towards him, my feet feeling as if there were fifty-pound weights attached to them. When I knelt weakly beside his bed, that's when I heard it. His weak, soft voice that was like knives to my ears - "Hi Lauren", he managed, and I heard him whimper. I hated that he was in pain. I hated that he was going away forever. I hated that this was the final time I would ever see him. After swallowing the lump in my throat, I struggled to hold back tears as I said, "I love you, buddy". My vision was clouding because of the tears and my tired eyes began to sting. There was so much I wanted to say to him about how much he changed my life and about how special and amazing he was; but in my broken heart, I knew that "I love you" would suffice. I knew that I should not drag out this moment any longer - so I pressed my quivering lips against his soft forehead, slowly stood up, and my now eighty-pound feet walked across the carpet. As I turned around and took a final look at him, my angel, I felt a warmness in my heart that reminded me of how incredible lucky I was to have met someone so incredible.
Angel on Earth
March 4, 2012