Personal Judgement

January 16, 2012
By calburke10 BRONZE, Hoffman Estates, Illinois
calburke10 BRONZE, Hoffman Estates, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Leaving your parents for a whole 2 weeks is hard enough. But spending it with complete strangers in the woods is a whole other story. When I first meet the crew I was overly optimistic, I was hoping for some real outdoorsy kids who actually liked being in the outdoors. But what I got was a whole new breed of kids. Kids who have done jail time to girls who wouldn’t leave the camp without all of her “necessities”. The weeks I spent inside of the Sierra Nevada’s was definitely not easy, but it was so worth it that I would do it again an instant. But being around people was the least important part of the trip to me. The greatest part was being alone for 48 hours. Just me, a tent, and a bag of trail mix.

When I first got to my camp, I had no idea what I was going to do with myself. There was no electronics and I was lost. I decided the best thing to do was forget about everything for the moment and just take a little nap. So I proceeded to set up my camp, which only took about five minutes because I was tired and I just wanted to pass out. Trying to fall asleep in the middle day is a challenge. Especially when the world’s largest mosquito-breeding zone is right behind you. The only thing I would think about as I laid there is how many minutes these buzzards are going to be here for. The constant buzz is in your ear every waking hour. They are fearless and relentless, as will come back after you even after they take a swat to the face. But these little insects aren’t really so different from us humans. They are just trying to do their job and that is to support their children. I can give them respect for that; they are going out every day and risking their safety just for the survival of their young. Now if your asking me, that is an inspiration as it should be for everyone. I realized we are all the same; we are here to live and prosper. Not to live and prevent others from prospering.

My camp was located right next to the beautiful Lake McGee. A lake built to preserve the presence of natural wild life by the great Civilian Conservation Corps. I could not have gotten a greater spot to file out my personal review. I would sit on a rock and watch the sun come down from the heavens as it falls down to hell, leaving a spectacular glow. It would blow your mind away, the sensation you get when you have finally reached freedom and all you can think about is nothing. I was a free man and I wanted to act free, I wanted to just yell. And so I yelled at the top of my lungs until I could barely let out a whimper. I wanted to cry I was so happy. There is no school out there to worry about, there are no women you have to impress, and there are certainly no parents you have to put up with. Being away from all that craziness is all I wanted to do.

I was fed up with all of that crap and I just wanted to be free, and I got what I really wanted.

The starry nights were so gorgeous even a blind man could see it. The lights from the sky were comparable to a streetlight. They would shine and you could see everything. So much is to be learned from the galaxy. But some things are just better off unknown. I am scared of what is out there; I could only imagine the life forms on other planets. For all we know, Star Wars could be based off a true story. I sat under those stars for as long as I could, thinking about the future, where I would be in ten years. I really don’t want to grow up, I just want to stay young forever with no worries about a job or a wife or anything for that matter. I might even want to live in the mountains for a little bit. Live off the land, grow my own crops and keep a few chickens and horses. I think I would do just fine, but I don’t know about my parents. I would then proceed to fall asleep, under the stars, happy as can be.

On the final day was the day of personal judgment. I began to think about all of my mistakes in my life all of my terrible thoughts. I got all of my evils out; I had been waiting to do this for a long time now. I have been hiding my thoughts from myself and I needed to let them show, and that is what I did. I would have never of done this if I was back at home. The only place where I really feel safe is in the outdoors. No tree is going to judge you; no bear is going to judge you. It is a very calm environment and that is what I enjoy most. I believe that the cure for sadness is true happiness. Go to a place where nothing else matters and just enjoy, the results will be shocking.

These mountains around me have been my teacher for the past two days. I thought I had everything figured out. I was on top of the world, on my highest pedestal that I had ever stood on. I had finally found out all the questions I wanted to get answered. My head was as clean as a whistle, which brought me out of some dark places. I had felt like a reborn Christian right after she got baptized on her forty third birthday. But this attitude would not last, as I would soon return to all the evils in the real world. Again I felt like a little nothing who knows nothing, and that is just how it is going to be.

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