Searching for Salvation

November 22, 2011
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Last year, my life began to morph slowly and unnoticeably, but the transformation was crucially impacting. All of my childhood, religion was never mentioned. “Everyone has different beliefs,” my mother always uttered. Religion fled from my family when my dad graduated high school. It no longer seemed important. In much later years, a senior in high school was talking to my friend, asking her to join FCA. Jealousy filled my heart, waiting for her to enquire my participation in her organization. FCA, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, wasn’t what I assumed it to be. “Why are we talking about this? Why did I even join this?” my conscience pondered. One day, there was talk of salvation, which I had no previous knowledge of. They started declaring the way to salvation- believing in God and His Son and praying “The Sinner’s Prayer”. I tried praying one night, but nothing felt any different. “That’s alright,” I supposed, “it’s not that important.” Little did I know, unbelief would soon begin to exit my body, while everything else would start to set into place.

Following my church-going, wonder started to consume me. About six months ago, an invitation sent for me by word to go to evangelical meetings at the church I’d been attending the previous months. The church auditorium was bursting of people. As soon as the meeting began, a bald, short man walked out to the podium. His name was Mike Pelletier, whom I will never forget. As soon as he opened his mouth, sounds like a siren began to supersede everyone else’s voices. As he talked, a snap would emit from his fingers every other sentence. Annoyance devoured my thoughts because of this. “Why am I here?” I deliberated over and over again. I was waiting for it to all be done so I could just leave and pass the rest of the time with my good friends. The assembly lasted forever, dragging on into what was supposed to be my free time. I had heard these things before. None of his words could help me. It was just repetition for me. “Get saved now. Love God’s son as He loves you. Show others His Glory.” Indeed, it was old news for me.

I felt convicted to attend the meeting the next night, so I went with high hopes that it wouldn’t be nearly as tedious for me as the night before. Prophecies were the subject of that night. Not even knowing what prophecies were, I entered with an open mind. He spoke of battles being predicted hundreds of years before they occurred. He told of the projection of God’s son being born to a virgin, and later being crucified to save mankind. And finally, he addressed the last book of the Bible, Revelation. I was utterly unaware of any of this. I hardly had any knowledge of Jesus, Revelation, or any of the Bible for that matter. Everything started to make sense. Truth hit me like a ton of bricks. Why hadn’t I realized this before? Everything I was told began to appear black and white, completely true or entirely false. A feeling of relief and purpose overwhelmed me. I finally know why I’m here. I have a purpose. The piano began to quietly play. Mike’s voice softly and calmly appeared, leaving the previous aggression in the dust. He requested for every being in the church to shut their eyes. The only noise in the room was the gentle song of the pianist, as she expressed her gratitude with each note of the tune. “How many of you know you are saved, and know you are on your way,” he paused, “to heaven.” I immediately became confused, and a trace frightened. Am I really saved? This question inundated my thoughts. “What do I do?” I contemplated. “Now, if you don’t know if you are saved, and on your way to heaven, Mr. and Mrs. Love are in the back of the auditorium and they will pray with you, and help you. No one is looking. Now is your chance,” offered Mr. Pelletier. I felt excited! This IS my chance! I looked over at Conner, my best friend, and his eyes were closed. He wouldn’t notice! But then worry took over my happiness. He would notice when I stood up. “I can become saved on my own. I’m alright,” I alleged.
After the meeting ended Conner stood up, a scowl on his face, and inquired for me to follow him. We winded our way through the hallway, to the gym, to the outside. It was a beautiful night. Everything was calm, except Conner. “Why didn’t you raise your hand when he asked if we were saved? Are you not saved? Meagan, I need to know.” His face appeared hard, aggressive and cold. I’d never seen him like this. I yearned I never would again. “I am saved. I didn’t even notice that I didn’t raise my hand,” I fibbed. “I was partly telling the truth though!” I understood. I thought I was saved. I was just unsure now. “Okay,” he replied, “I’m sorry. I just needed to know.” I was hiding my violent shaking. I was so nervous; I couldn’t even glance at him. I soon sensed anger running through my veins to my heart. “Why was he looking at me?” I screamed inside of my thoughts, “Everyone was supposed to close their eyes!” I was so hypocritical. I smiled at him. He forced a smile back, and then returned to the auditorium. We barely spoke until the next day.

Once I arrived back to my home, I rushed downstairs and began to pray. I had never really prayed before besides in church and in FCA. It was my first genuine prayer. Jesus saved me that night. I was so relieved. Things finally set into place for me. Belief entered my body for the first time. I tested myself, trying to question God, but it didn’t work. A massive beam overcame my grimace. God told me the truth. He opened my eyes to what I needed to see: reality. I was, and still am, certain that this is when I was truly saved by Jesus. This is when my heart was rightly opened.

I was so relieved. People are truly trying to help me. I finally sensed that I am being steered in the correct direction. After these meetings, happiness was my main export for months, up to today and forever more. Joy is a constant prodigious feeling. Closer relationships developed immediately, including with God, Himself! Although some of the meetings really aggravated me, they shaped my life into what it is today, which was undoubtedly changed for the better. I learned belief and assurance that day, which will unquestionably last me a life time.

I have six people to thank, who ultimately changed my life completely. My best friend, whom I will always be with, no matter what, Mike Pelletier, who continues to show people God’s word and the truth, Grace and Lynn, who began to enlighten me and help me during FCA, and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers forever, Jesus, for dying to save me and you, and God, who is continually showing me His mercy, love and forgiving charm, but still lets me know that I must serve Him. He saved me, and can save you too! He judges for sin, but if you have Jesus in your heart, you can be sure that you are on your way to heaven, which is the most gratifying feeling in the world.

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