Waves break. Seagulls. Sunshine? It might come out. No guaranties. It’s Homer, Alaska for cryin’-out-loud. Wet cold sand sticks to my feet as I walk. My poor painted toes chipping and becoming hidden by sand. Oh the lovely beach. Romantic thoughts arise in my head as I look at the sunlight hitting the water. He also appears in my head. Why isn’t he here? Oh right he’s partying or something. Ugh, why can’t he just be the perfect guy. My mood changes as I think about this. The air has a nip making a shiver run down my spine. The mountains sit so perfect and steady. Breathtaking. Literally. I love the feeling I get when I come here. I wish my parents understood. Why do they have to be so controlling? Well it’s not terrible considering the things I get from them. Oww! Sharp f***ing rock. Damn! Cold f***ing water! Wish I had someone to talk to. Listen too. Same diff. I text a few people. I wait. Watching the water. Checking my phone. Back and forth. No reply. Oh wait…just kidding. 1 New Message! My phone vibrates while the text bops up and down. Why did I text people when my fingers are numb as hell?! I can’t type! Ugh I didn’t really want to talk to them any ways. Whatever. Better than nothing. “wats up?” ……. Message Sent. Raindrops. What the hell? It was supposed to be sunny. Homer. Poop. Haha my famous word. So immature. Who cares? Obviously not me. Everything’s numb. 1 New Message! Don’t want to answer, but curious. I tap the screen. My hands shake with the cold. Where’s the hand with fingers always interlaced with mine? Where? Not here. That’s for sure. I want coffee. My mind racing everywhere. Calm. Think beautiful beach. Yelling and calling. So much for that. I look. A girl. Her words directed at me. Annoying kid. Time to go. I want to but I don’t. I don’t ever want to leave. Resistance. Ignorance. Reluctance. Numb toes dig into the dark sand, wiping of dried sand and adding more of the dark-gray speckled wet sand. I look around and out. Water. Miles and miles. Rain. Seagulls. Breaking waves.
Sand Between My Toes
November 10, 2011