Falling Short

November 10, 2011
By Anonymous

It all happened quite fast. I was sitting on the roof and reaching for my drink when he pushed me. You’d think that you would have time to correct yourself and cling to the edge for dear life, but I had nothing. All I could think about when I was crashing down to earth in blinding colors, was to make it hurt as less as possible. I wasn’t even thinking vengeful thoughts yet, about how I would get the boy who did this to me back, how I would make him pay. As I stared up at the gorgeous night sky, dull from light pollution, I wondered why we even have a roof in the first place. Wouldn’t people rather watch the stars as they slept as opposed to cracked plaster? I was thinking to much, I had to act fast. Using my weight to help me, I spun upright. Now my feet were aimed to the ground, instead of my back. Whoever dropped out of physics class last year, so everyone in my freshman class other then the honors kids and me, is crazy. Physics affects everything. I landed toe first on the cold cement. I rolled to my heels, then my calves, my knees, my thighs, and like a switch, I just turned off. All light was gone from the world. If I had been paying attention, I would’ve noticed the boy come flying off the roof to land a little more unfortunately by my side. He hadn’t corrected himself on the way down, but in his defense, he had been thrown. I opened my eyes to searing pain in my legs, and a dead boy next to me. Blood leaked from his mouth, and I stared into his wide open eyes trying to see what had possessed him to hurt me. It’s ironic that he had thought it would be alright to push a girl from a roof and think nothing of it, and have the same thing take his life. But I am a city kid, and I know the proper form the fall off tall things. I waited patiently for my friends to climb down. They slid down the drainpipe to the balcony and used the window panes to steady themselves, all the while staring down to the ground at what they had just done. They showed no remorse for the deed of tossing the boy off the roof, they were only upset that he had died.

“Hospital?” They asked me.

“That may be a good idea.” I said, feeling the pain as I started to walk. “But what should we do about him?” If only he hadn’t come with us tonight, he would still be alive. He was a random kid for school that we barely knew, he went to the same party as us and when the party was busted, he came with us to finish drinking. If only he knew how eccentric we were. I don’t really know what he was thinking when he pushed me. If he thought that no one would retaliate, he was just being ridiculous. He should know that no family ethic is stronger then that of children, and that he would only end up on the ground same as me. Sure I had been making fun of him, but only because my eleven year old sister could out drink him. It was in good fun. Now someone was dead. But in a way it seemed like the weekend was complete. A party in Southie was never complete unless someone got arrested, mugged, or killed. Then you could tell it was a good party. As long as you weren’t the person getting arrested, mugged or killed. I had been the unfortunate person a few times, it happens to everyone at some point. We walked at a steady and slow pace to the bus stop. My limbs were numb for some reason. We got on the bus and tried to entertain ourselves for ten minutes. A homeless man sat down the aisle from us, and he was snoring loudly. I ignored him, but Mickey was looking for fun. He threw random objects he found on the ground at the man; chip bags, coins, candy wrappers, and even my shoe.

“Come on!” I exclaimed angrily, limping over to retrieve my shoe. The man woke up, and noticing my shoe in his lap, stared at me. I shifted uncomfortably and asked for my shoe back. He nodded and asked for a cigarette.

“I don’t smoke.” I said, reaching out for my shoe, he just looked at me expectantly. Rusty was by my side in a few seconds. He gave the man a cigarette, and I got my shoe back. I pulled it on and started to walk back to my seat, when Rusty sat down. Rusty what are you doing? I wanted to ask, him. But I said nothing, the man was creepy. I’ve always thought my sense was stronger then others, I could tell when to be afraid of people, and this man was sketching me out. Rusty ignored my looks, and he lit up his cigarette, and the man’s. I stood there waiting, looking ridiculous as I tried to keep my balance on the bus. The driver turned around after awhile. You can only smoke in a closed area for so long before everything reeks.

“You can’t smoke in here.” The driver said, almost nervously.

“Relax, sir. We’re almost done.” Rusty said smoothly. And when he was done, he got up, and we walked back to our seats.

“What was that?” I asked, starting to feel weak and shivery. Rusty shrugged and handed me a pill that I swallowed without even asking what it was. I could trust Rusty. We were quiet until we stopped at the hospital. Kevin lifted me out of my seat because I was in a different world. I felt no pain anymore, only joy. I knew the pill was xanax now. They carried me to the the waiting room, I was losing it. I slumped over in Kevin’s arms and fell out of the seat they tried to place me in. They gave up and left me on the floor. Rusty filled out a form for me, using a fake name of course, and they left. I didn’t expect them to stay, it was dangerous. People started to ask questions then. No one could ask questions, or the life we had learned to love would be destroyed, thanks to child services and the government. If they knew what was going on in our beloved neighborhood, they would be sending in riot police. And they had on many occasions. I was seen a little after one by a young doctor who knew right away that I was high.

“So what did you take?” They asked me in an almost mocking voice. I smiled and shrugged to the best of my ability.

“All sorts of stuff, I fell off a roof.” He didn’t seem to believe me, x-rays showed that nothing was broken, and it could be argued I was walking funny from drugs.

“I landed right.” I said groggily. “I landed toe first and I absorbed the shock. My legs kill.”

“Well you can consider yourself lucky.” He said. “People can get killed from falls.”

“Oh believe me I know.” I laughed, sounding more like a wild dog then a person. I got home before morning, the sun was rising on my walk home. I waved to my neighbors, some were out walking their dogs, others drinking coffee on their porches. The rest were probably to hung over to move, and a dreaded silence hung over the gray streets. Monday mornings sucked. When I got home, my mom was still asleep, and my older sister was getting ready for school.

“Where were you last night?” She asked me accusingly.

“The ER.” I said, stomping through the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. “What a night.” She laughed at me, and with nothing better to do, I took a shower and went to school.

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