Christmas , always the jolly and joyous time of year. Children sending letters to Santa and making wish lists of what they want wondering if they've been naughty or nice . As a child of course I wished for the same things . In 2007 my Christmas was not so joyous . My father passed away . It was sudden and unexpected and I was at a loss for words . It was on December 10th , 2007 a day I won't ever forget . I refer to it constantly trying to remember the good times with my dad . But often it is this day I flash to . I woke up in the morning and it was sunny and beautiful , I planned a surprise Christmas visit to my dad around noon . I called him and convinced him I was not coming to see him for Christmas , though the plan was for my grandma to pick me up the following Friday and I would arrive just before he came home from work and surprise him it didn't quite go as planned . Later that evening I received a phone call from my grandmother she didn't want to speak with me she rushed me off the phone to talk to my mom . Nobody would speak to me nobody would tell me anything , my mom started crying even my stepdad began to weep . My aunt not long after was crying . Instantly I assumed the worst about my older brother , he had gotten an infection from his recent tattoo so I feared something was wrong . I started crying and I ran to the back porch . I started yelling that someone better tell me what is going on . As soon as my mom walked outside her eyes full of tears I demanded she tell me what was going on . I heard the words come out of her mouth but I didn't comprehend them . I told her no , not my daddy I just spoke to him this morning ... "Your daddy is gone ." those words still haunt me to this day . Once I realized she meant it , he really was gone I ran . I ran across the street . She was my best friend she knew everything about me we had been close for the longest time though recently we began falling apart I still ran to her . Despite everything she was already dealing with she dropped it all and comforted me . I remember this day now every year when Christmas becomes near . I haven't wished in four years for anything for Christmas . This year I want to make a wish again , I want it to be a clear wish and I hope my dad sees it and hears it loud and clear . I wish , for at least this one year ... Just one more time I want a Merry Christmas , I want a year I can remember without wanting to weep . I am not asking for much , merely one good day even if it causes 364 bad ones . Do I miss the good years with my dad ? Of course I do , but I think it's time for me to be happy again .
A Merry Christmas
November 9, 2011