My Average Day

November 7, 2011
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I usually wake up around 4:30 where I walk around clicking my nails on the linoleum floor. If this doesn’t get dad up, than I will go start growling at the cat, who will growl back at me in return. This always gets daddy up, and he lets me and my sister outside to go to the bathroom. I love this part of the day, because it is dark outside still. The possibilities are almost endless.

I love to bolt with Bella the first chance I get, because then daddy gets in the car and drives after us and tries to catch us. First, he will yell for us to come back, but everyone knows that it won’t work. Daddy finally will catch me and put me in the back of the pickup. I love going for a ride!

When I get home, daddy usually cusses me out, and tells me that I am bad and that I don’t get a biscuit. I then go lay down looking as innocent as possible on my pillow.

About two hours later when my whole pack wakes up, I go over to the door and open it. Then I go and pee in the front lawn and everyone comments on how smart I am that I can open the door. I know what is coming, so I hang around daddy as much as possible because I love him so, so much and maybe he will change his mind.

It never works, and after daddy and big brother take me and Bella on a walk, we are put downstairs in the basement. As daddy drives away, he can’t hear my desperate cries of sorrow that I am left alone with Bella again.

I used to be able to open that really big window that slides open quite easily. I can even unlock to escape. However, daddy always puts a large piece of wood in the way of sliding it open, and I haven’t figured out how to remove it yet.

When everyone is gone, I start to get hysterical. I hate being alone in such a big house. It makes me so mad!! I’ll show them. I will destroy their house! First I will go over to the coat rack and pull on the coats until the whole rack falls down. Then I will pull a couple of shoes from the underneath, and gnaw on them for a while. When I am finished with that, I will go chew on the couch down there that I have already ripped up almost completely. I love the taste of that leathery material in my mouth! When I have pulled it out into the middle of the room, I then go sit on the carpet. I pee all over it just to make daddy mad because he deserves it for leaving me once again.

After that is over, I walk over to the bathroom and open the door. There, I rip up the shower curtain a little more, and go steal the toilet paper roll. I take it over to the middle of the room and chew it into little tiny pieces that are impossible to use, and will be thrown away. That will surprise daddy when he comes down to take a morning poop!

After that, I go and try and open the big window again, but of course it won’t open. I unlock it, but that dumb wood is in the way. So I run over to the garage door which is really heavy. They put this cart thing in front of it so I can’t open the door, but I know how to push it over. I do, and walk out into the open garage.

Once there, I tip over a bucket full of sawdust that flies everywhere and gets in my eyes. That hurts, and makes me even madder. I bite down clothes that are hanging on the clothes racks. That will show them.

I go back into the basement and go lay down next to Bella. It seems an eternity since I saw daddy’s grinning face, as he throws my favorite toy, an old bottle with some rocks in it that make a loud rattle sound. That memory makes me cry out in misery; daddy and the rest of my pack are never going to come back!

About an hour and a half later (about ten and a half hours in dog years) I hear a very large vehicle pull up and stop at my house. I start barking, and letting my presence be known because I know that this means that big brother is home now. Maybe daddy left forever, but at least I have big bro.

I run at him as he opens the door to the basement. I bolt between his legs, and jump at him from behind and wag my tail like no tomorrow. He lets me and Bella out to pee, and then brings us back inside.

Big brother is not happy to see the awesome bit or carnage that is the basement. At least he is home.

Later, everyone comes back home. I guess they didn’t leave me forever. They do this every day, and I never know if they are coming back.





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