The Story of Lost Love

November 2, 2011
I felt like love had just hit me with a ton of bricks. The guy i never thought i would fall for came into my life and took my heart in his hands. When we were kids we were nothing more than friends, then after a couple of weeks in summer camp together I found out he had feelings for me. Once i found out he liked me it was like i stomped on his heart purposely. I would be in front of him or near him and just talk about Michael, my ex, they guy i still had feelings for. I thought that it didnt bother him, but yet in my heart i knew what i was doing. One of my friends at camp told me that she liked Markkel, the guy that liked me she also told me that he liked her back, so i backed off and let her have him. It seems like the more i backed off the more he liked me. I loved getting so much attention from him. Out of all the boys who liked me, he was the one i cared about the most. This him i am speaking of is Markkel, the love of my life at the time. I knew i loved Markkel and I could tell he loved me. We were meant to be together I knew that in the bottom of my heart.
After a while of us flirting, all my friends knew we were meant to be together. They all tried to get me and Markkel to date one day while we were at the pool. They asked Markkel if he liked me first and he said yes. Then they rushed toward me and asked me if I liked him, of course I said yes. One of my friends swam as fast as she could to go and tell Markkel before I could put a smile on my face. Once they got close enough to him I swam as fast as I could to get to him and tell him that all our friends were lying to him. Ever since that day I have regretted that moment and saying those few words for so long.
After a couple of weeks of talking and flirting with Markkel, I came to camp one Monday and he was gone. I felt like I no longer had breath in my body. I felt as if my heart dropped and sank to my knees. I couldn’t believe I had let the love of my life go. I didn’t even get his number. Once I realized this, I felt like my life stopped. All I could think about for almost a year was Markkel. I would always pray to God and ask that he would let me see Markkel somewhere and atleast talk to him.
It took about two years until I saw Markkel for the first time after camp. It was at Shlitterbahn. I recognized his little sister Dejza first, and I looked all around because I knew he would be somewhere close. I slightly turned my head to the right and I saw Markkel. My heart felt like it would come out my chest; I was so excited. It felt like God had just given me a second chance at life, at love. My emotions were all over the place, I didn’t know if I wanted to cry, laugh or run up to him and hug him. I tried to stay close to Markkel so we could talk, but every time I got near him he would smile and move away. It was as if he was to shy to talk to me. So I didn’t really talk to him that day, but it didn’t matter. I was satisfied by just seeing his face.
That day I and Markkel never got to talk but I kept my hopes high that one day I would see him and we would talk. Well that day didn’t come as soon as I hoped, although I did see him again, this time it was a little different though. I, my mom and my sisters were all in Finish Line, a shoe store in the mall. When I turned my back and looked outside the door and into the hall and I saw this tall, light skinned boy in a red shirt walking straight ahead to some other store. I looked a little closer and realized that it was Markkel, I put the biggest smile on my face, then we met eyes and we both smiled the biggest smiles. He walked into the store I was in and I knew he wanted to say hello.
I could see it in his eyes, which were big and full or emotion. His eyes told a story that his mouth wouldn’t. His eyes showed me that he still had strong emotions for me, that didn’t erase from his heart. He didn’t say hello though, but I knew it was because my mom was near me. My day had been made perfect by just seeing Markkel’s face. Then a couple of weeks passed and I saw Markkel at a homecoming game. He was standing next to one of my friends and as I was about to leave something in me was debating if I should go and say hey or just walk away.
As I got closer to my friend and told her bye he looked at me, and I knew what I had to do. I went up to him n held my arms out n wrapped them around him, I felt him hold on to me tight. This is what we had been waiting for, for years. I think I finally approached him because my heart couldn’t take being away from him anymore. I felt like I needed him, I wanted to be with him; I wanted him to be his everything again. I know for a fact that all the love I had for him came back in that short amount of time, and that’s what made me allow myself to be honest with him this time. I gave him my number and told him that he better call me. My night was so wonderful and it was all because of Markkel.
Into the weeks we were talking we started to flirt and regain the feelings we thought we had lost for each other. We even were about to date but I told him I would rather hear him him say it, and say it to my face. So we were waiting until the next time we would see each other. I began to fall in love with Markkel Zeigler all over again. Then after about a month, we stopped talking. It felt like he was beginning to ignore me, all I could think about for the longest was why? What had I done to make him upset or hurt him? But his excuse was that he had to use his sisters’ phone and he couldn’t talk to me as much.
I didn’t believe it but something made me, and I knew he was talking to everyone else because I could see it on his facebook page. I just didn’t know why he didn’t want to talk to me. I feel like all the love he felt for me was fake, or maybe I was just his girl for a certain amount of time until he found another one, because he does have many to choose from. I still can’t truly get over this one heartbreak; I thought he was going to be the one I would stay with forever. Markkel Zeigler truly broke my heart and it won’t be mended for a long time.
I don’t know if I could ever get over this one particular heartbreak. I miss hearing his voice, and him making me laugh so much, it kills me. I just wish we could talk and express how we both honestly feel about each other. So that we could fix everything that is wrong and went wrong. I love him so much and I don’t want to let him go, I need and want him back!The significance of this is that you fall in love and think that it will be different or maybe even work out, when in the end it most likely doesn’t and you end up broken hearted. It also shows how you can’t fall for everyone who comes along and flatters you. After this experience I am a different person, because I am in love with someone totally different now and my heart belongs to him. Also as a person I am more aware that some people come into your life for a season and some come into your life for a lifetime. I just have to pick out the ones that are in my life for a season and the ones that meant to be in my life forever. I don’t let anyone tell me anything I know is a lie and I definitely don’t believe everything that is thrown to me.





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