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Drifting Apart

By , Oshkosh, WI
We’ve been drifting apart. Maybe it was because we ran out of things to say or maybe just because our hearts were in different places. Either way my heart felt like ice. Slowly succumbing to the heat caused by the friction of two friends fighting. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t want this friendship to end. I never thought it would hurt this much.

I was losing it. I felt betrayed on a day to day basis. How could someone you trusted so much completely forget about you and ignore you every day? We used to be close. We had everything in common. We were friends since first grade! Now the glue that held our friendship together was deteriorating. The pieces of our trust and friendship were plummeting to the murky void below.
I just didn’t get how she could treat me with no respect. It ate at my self-esteem until I could hardly bare to go to school anymore. I begged my mom to switch my schools. I didn’t want to face her. It hurt so much to see her ignore my every move. She acted like I wasn’t even there.
One day she messaged me on Facebook, saying, “Do you have a problem with me?” My heart sunk. I looked at the keyboard, contemplating on what to say back. My hands hovered over the keys for a moment, then after deciding what to say, I typed, “Excuse me? Do I have a problem with you? I have never done anything to hurt you. You are the one that never wants to hang out with me. You ignore me all the time!” I was overwrought with anger. My chest heaved as I breathed.
She replied back, “We never hang out because you are always hanging out with your boyfriend! And maybe if you weren’t so annoying and mean I would talk to you! Maybe we should just stop being friends. It is obviously a waste of time!” By this time I started to cry. How could she interpret what I do as mean? I have never done anything to hurt her. I made sure of it. I decided to type back. “Fine.” That’s all.
I slowly walked up the stairs to my bedroom. My legs were wobbly with grief. Each step echoed around my empty house. I laid down on my bed and started to sob. My heart was heavy with the bitterness that built up over the past few weeks. I bitterly thought about how much she has hurt me. About the dirty looks I didn’t deserve. I thought about all the eye rolls, the cold shoulder, the belittling comments, and the things I heard people tell me she said about me. I felt the anger building up inside of me, but I held it in. I didn’t know how to deal with this situation. I just wanted to run away from it. I wanted it all to be done; to just go away.

I thought about hiding under a giant rock and never coming out. I wished I could fall off the planet earth, never to be seen again. This was all caused by one person. One person can do a lot of damage; cause a whole lot of pain. This made me think about my own doings. I learned that I should really watch what I say. I knew how it felt, and I wanted no one else to feel the same way.





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