Should I Tell or Write?

November 1, 2011
Is it wrong for me to want to forget what happened, not tell my parents and move on? By telling the one person about my mistake, I can finally breathe again, the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders, the weight of the world has been lifted off my chest, my mind and it’s like I’m stress free. Telling the one person made me feel like me again, it helped me to think good thoughts, clean holy thoughts, so is it wrong that I don’t want to tell my parents? Is is wrong that all I want to do is write and let my struggles, my issues, my stress be the muse for my writings?

My writing makes me free, it make me challenge myself, question what I believe, my writing is my release. I talk about real issues, I talk about rape, loss of faith, grace, hope and joy. I write about relationships. I write of heart aches, heart breaks, love, lush, laughs, I write about life.

Through my pain, my suffering, my stress, comes a brilliant though, a brilliant idea to share it to people, young adults with the same pain as I felt. Not all of my inspiration, however, is based on my pain, my praises and my life. I take influences from those around me; what can I say? I people watch.

Through my writing, I wish to teach young adults that they are never alone, even in their darkest times, even when they feel like they can’t live life anymore, their stresses and pain have become too great to handle--I write to help thoughts like this. Sometimes all people need is someone to believe in, someone to believe in them, someone to believe that there is a reason to keep with it, to keep fighting, to keep living. Sometimes people just need a reminder that God is here. Sometimes people need to know that God does help, God does forgive, God has a plan.

Now, some will argues that God doesn’t make things happen for a reason, but I believe that and it follows through to my characters and my writing. God is the basis of my writing, always, even if I have challenges in my life, God shows through more than ever.

My writing inspires people, it instructs people, it leads people, it helps, holds and forgives people and their struggles. My writing is my release of all these things. My writing is the source of letting out all of my frustrations, my fears, my stress, my everything.

Let me get back to the question: Is it wrong that I don’t want to tell my parents? Everything I write is me, so would it be wrong for me to write my mistake as one of my characters and let my parents figure it out that way or should I tell them directly? Will telling them bring up the pain of my mistake, the stress of my mistake, and stress me out and weigh me down again.

When I can’t write out my pain and suffering or confusion, I go to The Bible.
“But he who endures to the end shall be saved.” Matthew 24:13

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Dr Carol said...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 1:44 pm

wonderful piece. Writing can be a very powerful tool to express ourselves and support each other.  The arts can always improve self-esteem. 

mynameisgrace This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 4, 2011 at 5:41 pm
beautifully written!
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