I am on the outside an ordinary teen, of medium height, blonde hair, and eyes who like to switch between green and blue. I am seen wandering around Granite Bay High 10 months of the year. Yes, I do live in the ever so “perfect” Granite Bay bubble. No, I am not a billionaire, or a millionaire, or even close. In fact, there are holes in my bathroom walls. Nobody needs to know that though. Its not like it is a secret, it’s just that you cannot predict people. I would hate it if some “better-than-thou” girl to decides she doesn’t like me because of the disrepair of my house. But you shouldn’t be friends with those people anyways. Just avoid them, as a general rule. You deserve better, they do too.
Besides, it’s not even my house anyways. It doesn’t reflect who I am. I do not have holes in my confidence to match the ones flanking my bathroom. I’m pretty damn confident for a teenage girl actually.
If you truly wanted a visual representation of me, just cross the hall from that damaged space. It’s a jungle of creativity, stubborn organization, and piles of slight turmoil.
Welcome to my room. There are the things that have places here. They belong here. When they are moved, you put them back. They do not disappear. Ever. This is only half me. Its more of what is expected of me, from my parents, from society. They all want “perfection”. Honestly, perfection is not my forte. I honestly hope it never will be.
In my room there are the things that just ARE, they’re just THERE . These are my favorites. The unfinished paintings and drawings drying on the floor, strung above that eternally organized closet, pushed under the bed. It will take me months to get to these. Months of ideas bounding around. Inspired by music, art, experiences, literature (because you should READ, READ, READ!) but mainly just the deemed impossible coming to life on a surface.
Also littering my floor are the sculptures that seem to take an eternity. I swear I have made one about five times because my dog has chewed it up every time. But you wont ever catch me complaining about it, because its only ever gotten better with each revision. You should always strive to be better. Always. Even if an event chews everything you value out of your life. Recreate. Always.
There is a pile of fabric scraps in the corner, clothing claimed too old, too small, out of style. They will all be torn apart and put together again into something that earns me my once a day “Laurel you’re so cute, so creative, so artistic” ect. I appreciate these compliments. More than appreciate, I adore them. They keep me going, they keep everyone going. I am one of those super optimistic people who believe that yes, you can change the world with a smile. One day I will travel everywhere and try to spread it. That’s not a dream, It will happen, It will.
Above my desk is my little camera collection, when I travel the world, they are coming with me. Because it is important to remember your past, it gives a good perspective. You grow, you change, memories help you remember how happy you were then, how ridiculous that one idea was. In a way, looking back in your own memories helps you grow even when you thought you already had. If you realize you were a lot happier back than, change your situation. Don’t ever ever ever sit and do nothing. That’s the one thing I cant stand. The only thing worse is when one complains about it too. Take charge, take initiative, be informed. Basically, be alive. Who cares if there are holes in your walls, exceed them. Make the impossible a reality.