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Decisions

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Once upon a time, there was a girl who couldn’t stick to any decision. She couldn’t stick to a decision on what to eat anymore than she could stick to a decision to leave the world behind and let it catch up to her. She could decide, and decide, and decide until she was blue in the face, but every time her decisions came to question, she snapped like a twig underfoot.

She decided once, that she would never ever let someone hurt her the way all her other friends did. She decided she would be more careful with her heart, and not be so open. She decided that two friends were all she needed to get by, and everyone else could leave. She decided that what happened with her old friends would never happen again. Until the day her new friend stopped being her friend. He pretended from that point on, and she pretended to believe him. Until one day, she stopped pretending and demanded his attention. His attention fell away, and he fell behind. She pretended to believe he was missing out, but she still felt that she was missing out more. So, her decision that two friends were enough became a decision that one friend was enough, and then it became a decision that maybe she didn’t have to limit herself. Maybe she could just be friendly to all. So she pretended to be whole, and she decided to do better.

One day, she fears her decisions will come around and bite her, she fears all her pretending will lessen the value of actuality. She fears that one day, she will look back with nothing but regret.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who couldn’t decide, could only pretend, and pretended to not be afraid of her future. But that girl saw past her pretend world, and knew how scary the future actually was.




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