It's been awhile since I've seen my old friends. 2, maybe 3 years? I've met new people now, and I appreciate their presence in my life. But,when I got back and think what if; what if I stayed in the same district, I feel so much that I would have been much happier. But when it comes to education there isn't much of a point to my happiness. Everything around me seems so condescending nowadays. When we are told we are special or we are not average, it's more of a lie of encouragement. We are average. We are special, in few senses of the word. Look at me going off-topic in the beginning of this thing. Anyway, whenever I see what my old friends have been up to, my heart just continues to be pained. People say that you should never ask yourself what if, because you'll end up pondering how things could have turned out. Once you do, you decide whether your life could have been better or worse, and if the sacrifices you've made were actually worth it. Well, who's to say? Sometimes you just can't help it. Such is life and life moves on. We continue to live, and we forget our past relationships, no matter how hard it is to lose them. Something as simple as a drop of water could drastically change an outcome of events. Still, back to my own situation. Of course, I've met new people, but I'm not close to them as I was to my past friends, whom I've been in school together for over 8 years. It may be my fault that I'm distancing myself, yet it's hard for me to think of anything else to do. So now I'm with a group of people I'm not as close to, and I practically don't know my past friends anymore. It's impossible to resist the question. What if things were different? What if time could be reset, and we could choose another path in our lives? We can let our imagination run wild, or we can face our reality of what we've chosen. And sometimes facing reality is hard. It's hard for everyone. We try to deny our emotions at times, but they crawl up on us. The fact is we can never go back in time and change our answer. On our tests or our lives. We deal with the consequences, and with that, we choose how we deal with them, only to gain the next bunch of consequences on the ladder we call life. When we think of these things, they don't affect what's been done, but for some reason it feels as if you get no choice. You have to go and think what if, and deal with that feeling we come to expect as regret. It's hard, but we persevere. Sometimes we can't handle it though, and despite all of the support we may get, some of us still go and take on death on purpose. The times change. Our lives change. We change. But the past always stays the same. Yet there's no such thing as the past; or the future. We only have the present. Some of us choose to stay in our comfort zone, while others have the courage to go out. Those of us who stay in the zone go and wonder, admire, maybe get a little jealous, of those who can do what we aren't willing to. It's everything that we do, and others do that affect our lives. So we begin to wonder what if they hadn't been in our lives, or what if we hadn't acted like that. We ask ourselves what if things were different. And there's nothing wrong with that, just make sure you don't regret the choices you've made. You'll need to do that to survive. Take it from someone who's done the opposite.
What if things were different.
August 13, 2011