"Are we fighting?"

July 27, 2011
As that night replays in my head, I think about all that we’ve been through. I also can’t help but think about what we really fought over. It seems to me like such a pointless argument. If I described it to most people, they would probably just look at me and think I’m stupid for overreacting too much. However, when I think about the feelings I felt that night, I must say it was no overreaction.

I was laying on my bed look up at the shadows of my blinds on the wall casted by the moonlight. It was quiet on the other line. We couldn’t hear anything but each other’s breathing. Although we were what seemed to be a million miles apart, we could feel the tensions in our body through the wireless phone lines. What were we arguing over? I can’t even remember.

He was asking me what I wanted him to do. He was asking me what I wanted him to say. I was extremely stumped; I didn’t know what to say. I don’t always want to tell him what to do or what to say. I might as well just have a conversation with myself if I had to tell him what to say.

I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair with my free hand while the other was holding onto the phone pressed against my ear. “I don’t know,” was all I could say. Silence filled us once again and I leaned on the wall next to my bed. I took a deep breath and let out a big sigh. The silence lasted for about two minutes, which practically felt like two hours. I lay down on my bed once again and closed my eyes. Suddenly, he spoke, “Are we fighting?” I don’t know what it was or why, but when he said that it made me smile. I chuckled a bit and was left completely speechless. Then he said, “I’m sorry.” He said a couple more words and it finally kicked off a conversation. I opened up a little bit more and he did too.

I realized a lot that night. I realized what we were actually arguing about was something small, but the feelings we had towards it was pretty huge. I realized it wasn’t only me who was fearful, but he was just as well. So if you ask, what were we arguing about? The truth is, we were arguing about jealousy and not choking each other. We were both worried about the fact that we didn’t want to care about each other too much it was going to suffocate us. We were both worried about the fact that when school starts once again, we might just drift from each other and find other people. I guess in simple terms we were just scared to lose each other. If you ask me, I don’t think I would’ve undone that fight or argument. I think that it was perfect just the way it happened. If we never got into that argument, I don’t think we’d really realize how much we mean to each other. If we never got into that argument, I don’t think we’d realize how much we really want to protect each other. We’re best friends. Over protectiveness comes naturally.

And last but not least, if we never got into that argument, I don’t think we’d realize how much we actually love each other.

Fights and arguments only make relationships and friendships stronger. Without them, you wouldn’t learn. It’s not really about what you argued about, it’s more of how you got through it.

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