Time Passes

July 20, 2011
Tuesday, June 21st, 2011;
Summer has become synonymous with fun, light, bright skies, sun, magic, change, love. I want this amazing experience…but it’s raining.

Disappointment.

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011;
Peaceful breezes are my haven today. Joyful, relaxing, enjoyable. Satisfied in the day, but when the night comes, I darken as well.

Distressed.

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011;
I feel so liberated, free, now that every cause of worry is removed from my sight.

As I look out my clear windows, at the cars and people walking by, at the river teeming with creatures, at soft green grass in my wake. So delightful. I enjoy this idleness. It would be nice to drive somewhere though. Not that I can. Freedom comes at a price.

Observant.

Thursday, June 30th, 2011;
Alert night to day leads to day to night in fuzzy uncertainty.

Lazy.

Friday, July 1st, 2011;
Been unsure of late what is real and what is not. But that’s hardly a new occurrence. Trying to figure out how to create new characters to inhibit minds, but I’m so used to using myself as an anchor…as a doorway.

Perplexed.

Friday, July 8th, 2011;
Surprises find ways into my life too often. But this time, I’ll be the surprisor not the surprised.

Boo!

Saturday, July 9th, 2011;
If there is a formula for everything, I think I’m on the path to find the one that creates me.

Discovery.

Sunday, July 10th, 2011;
While I would enjoy being a writer, I don’t know if I could. If I have the mental discipline……or the ability.

Meditating long after dawnbreak brings the grim realization that I live behind glass and nets, that there’s no exploration when I’m trapped in safety. When I want to see without obstruction.

Frustrated.


Monday, July 11th, 2011;
There’s a balance somewhere, between lying and bluntly truthful. However, it’s on a ledge too far to hold to and while I might brush with the very edges of my nails, I could never hold on.

Liar.

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011;
You’re here, taking up all this space and what are you doing? Life is passing you by and the world is turning and you’re sitting here…

Wasteful.

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011;
Go. Stick. Repeat. Dance. Move. Cry. Fight. Flee. Die. Hope. Break. Smooth. Shine. Take. Give. Get. Return. Bike. Fly. Sleep. Dream. Pray. Read. Write. Draw. Sing. Whisper. Shout. Yell. Holler. Leave. Run. Eat. Drink. Puke. Binge. Cut. Bleed. Step. Fall. Regret. Look. Look back. Look forward. Trip. Stumble. Rise. Hurt. Heal. Wait. Breathe. See. Hide. Twitch. Tear. Stare. Blink. Open. Close. Trust. Demand. Betray. Center. Switch. Leap. Plan. End. Begin. Laugh. Smile. Love.

Live.

Thursday, July 14th, 2011;
Things need to be planned, but not overly so. Expectation is the root of disappointment. You can’t rely on others, except a rare few.

Era.

Friday, July 15th, 2011;
Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak. Not crying doesn’t mean you’re weak.

Just because a banana is battered and mushy, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, or it doesn’t taste good. Actually, it taste better in my opinion.

Reaching.

Saturday, July 16th, 2011;
Time to consider the issue of my immorality. To meditate on my beliefs and what they mean to me. Guess I wasn’t as ethical and full of integrity as I supposed.

Evaluation.

Monday, July 18th, 2011;
What I need most, I just cut off.

When I had it, blooming to its fullest, I knew of its worth.

I said, look at its glory, look at how its value.

Yet no one understood.

How dare you keep it like this?

They convinced me and I’m sorry.

Now I am here, and the only thing that could ever keep me going, is what I just left behind.

Repent.

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011;
Can there be value put on human individuality?

Can we say that one person is better than the rest?

Ideally, no, we can’t. Each soul is priceless.

But realistically, we have to. One is worth more than another.

A lifeboat situation. Where you can’t save everyone.

And the choosing begins.

Do we choose the ruffians? The children? The elderly? The ones who given most to society? Mothers, fathers? Politicians?

What a hard decision to make.

Maturity, if you can’t do this, you’re not wise enough yet.

Impossible decisions.

But time doesn’t flow.

Running out, you need to choose.

Put numbers, rankings, on who will live and who will die.

Can’t choose, can’t choose.

You have to, or else everyone goes.

Sacrifice your own sanity for the majority.

Ignore the cries of the unchosen.

Turn away.

Their screams leave you

Scarred.

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011;
I want to save everyone but no one will let me. So I guess I’ll have to save them before they need saving. Can’t be pushed over the edge if they aren’t allowed near it. But what if they need to fall? Should I go catch them? What do I do? People are so confusing, they don’t make sense at all.

Rescue.





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