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The Art of Pulling Chairs: The Story of My First Crush

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The following are the true events of a very hot day in 2003. My first crush developed in the second grade. Actually, I might have thought this particular boy was quite handsome even on the first day of kindergarten. I remember blushing when my parents asked me if I "liked" anyone when I came home... But of course with young love it's more about making the crush think you absolutely hate him than express your real feelings. So as a second grader who had a crush on the cutest boy in the class, that everyone adored, it was hard to really stand out and show your dislike, I mean affection. But I managed to pull a few strings and ended up in the hall getting a lecture from my teacher when it was all said and done. Oh yeah I was that determined.
It was sweltering that afternoon, everyone was complaining about the heat and how sticky with sweat they were, frequent trips to the drinking fountain were being made, and our teacher had turned off the lights and put the fan on high speed. My teacher was recording our spelling test answers on the board, which makes my following actions perfectly logical, for I am a terrible speller and wasn't paying attention to the assignment to begin with.
Earlier that day... a group activity had us scattered around the room, working on projects. So the boys were standing around their desks, and then one of them went to sit on his chair. The boy next to him pulled the chair right out from underneath the boy and he fell flat on his butt. They all found this hysterical, and repeated the activity for the rest of the project, pulling chairs out from underneath all their buddies. I'd been carefully paying attention to this chair pulling and was grinning from ear to ear. I thought it was funny. I wanted to do it too.
The desks in the classroom were divided into clusters of four, and my crush was conveniently situated one desk behind mine. I'd couldn't forget what the boys had been doing earlier that day, I had to try it out for myself. And who better than on my crush? No one would suspect my liking him if I pulled a stunt like that. I didn't think my actions would result in ruin. Actually, I thought just the opposite. I imagined my hand swiftly pulling on the chair, him crashing to the ground and everyone around me, including him, laughing so hard that even the teacher would join in. I'd be hoisted up on shoulders and carried around the room, the cheering would be so loud for my excellent trick. Alas, that was not the case.
The fan's constant hum filled the humid air, and my eyes had drifted from my teacher standing at the white board, marker in hand. That was when I noticed, my crush had gotten out of his chair! He was at the drinking fountain! Now was my chance. As he walked toward his chair I prepared myself, I was going to pull that chair, he'd sit down and there would be no chair, I would be the center of attention, it would be brilliant. He turned to sit down, and that was when I grabbed. I promptly pulled the chair out from under him, and smiled as I heard his body thud to the ground.
I was so caught up in my supposed victory until something happened that I hadn't anticipated. He was crying, big tears rolled down his face. No one laughed, there wasn't a smile in the room. My mind was spinning “What had I done wrong? Why had it been so funny earlier? I didn't do anything differently!” I felt a presence over my shoulder, there was my teacher glaring down at me. I had seen that glare many times, but never had it been directed at me. I was then taken by the arm and put in the hallway and was told to wait for further discussion of my “bad” choice. My plan had failed, yet I couldn't believe it had turned out so wrong.
So I sat awaiting my punishment, facing many looks of shame from others walking down the hallway until my teacher came back out into the hallway and explained the seriousness of what I had done. My punishment was to apologize to my crush, probably the most unbearable thing for a second grader to do.
For years after that I continued to “crush” on said boy, but as I look back on the memory I believe the chair incident greatly decreased my chances of him returning the feelings. In middle school things started to change, we fell into different crowds and my crush, who'd been a perfect gentleman in elementary school, ended up being, as nicely as I can put it... kind of a jerk. That was when the last of my remaining admiration for the boy vanished.
Now I look at it this way, my pulling his chair away was just advanced karma for his later change in personality, justice served a few years early. I get such joy out of telling the story to those who aren't privy to the day I made the “coolest” guy in school cry, people are surprised that I even pulled the chair to begin with, but hey what can I say? You do crazy things when you're “crushed”!

P.S. I haven't pulled a chair out from under anyone since.



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Stephsofresh414 said...
May 6 at 11:37 pm:
Cool story! I wish my first major crush story ended that way. BTW: my friends told him, he moved to Maryland, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm some freaky love stalker
 
Pain flower replied...
yesterday at 3:13 pm :
I like a boy too and today he held the door for me and smiled
 
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Aly888 said...
Oct. 5, 2013 at 4:24 pm:
I loved your story! Very nice ending too.  I would love to tell that story to everyone
 
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