Lost in a World of Pain !!

May 25, 2011
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One of the many hearts breakers teenagers go through are parents divorcing. Its like a vivid memory one that you will never forget. What I want to say is when parents,divorce their children go through a lot.

This Is my story. I was very young only 6 years old .
“ You don’t understand anything” says my mom.
Most of the fights both my parents had, was about my father coming home late at nights. Out of all of the fights,This fight was more complicated but it was always the same thing but with something extra. Something i didn’t expect.

It was late at night , around 1:26 a.m. and my parents were fighting. I was in my room listening to them go on and on. My mom was just screaming telling him to leave.
“No” My dad was saying, that she was wrong but my mom was angry and wouldn’t listen.
“ Ok I will leave” he said after a while.
I’m so sleepy but I still get out of bed, I open the door very quietly. My dad sees me and I open the door wider. He came to me and kissed my forehead. My mother tells him to leave for the last time and he does.

I, for one, was Mad ,Angry ,and Frustrated.
I tell her “ you complain of why he does not come and now that he is here, you tell him

to leave “ I yell. My mom had a look of shock of how I have spoken to her. Then shock turned into anger.
“What do know? You’re just too young to understand anything!!”
I felt hurt from what she told me. I was tired and I just wanted to cry.
I did understand; I don’t think she knew that . One thing I did not know was that my dad didn’t love her anymore.

I was lost in a world of pain!! I blamed my mother for almost everything,telling her that I can’t have my dad at my side. This to me was an impact, all of this pain caused my education to go down the drain. I did not pass 2nd grade; I ignored everything and everyone. I didn’t care. The bad thing was that all of this was leading to 3 years of counseling .My mother tells me I was shutting down,giving up,but not until one day my mom said to stop.
“ You don’t need to be acting like this, you should know that it was your father who was cheating on me so don’t just blame it all on me!!!” she told me.
When she told me this I felt so bad,empty,so much hate against my mom, when it was never her fault.

Everything that I did wrong flashed through my eyes, like a movie. Just thinking how I blamed my mother for my sorrow ,my pain. That I realize how much pain I have caused. My mom till this day remembers how bad I did and she reminds me but it is part of who I am . One thing I can say is that regret is one powerful feeling that I wont ever in my life forget.

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