November 3rd, 2009

Dear Future Child,

You may think that this is a little bit weird that I’m writing a letter to you before I even know who you are, but I need to get this letter written while I have all of my thoughts gathered. I realize that being a teenager isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. There is going to be a lot of drama and a lot of hard times but you will get through it. If you could meet me today you would realize I’m not your average teenager. I lived with my mom from fourth grade up until my sophomore year of high school. After that I tried to live with my dad for a semester but it just didn’t work. I ended up leaving my parents households and I am now working to pay rent every month. Something I would never have guessed I would be doing at seventeen years old.

I feel that my parents showed me the basics of life, respect, courtesy, work ethic, and honesty. Even though they had taught me fundamentals, I couldn’t live with them. It just didn’t work. I tried it for seven years and I finally realized that I am just too much of an independent person to always be relying on my parents and I had to get out. Because of these things, I realize that I have to make a better life for my child.

I feel like that by knowing what my parents may have done wrong that I can learn from it and be a better parent. Some main things that I feel like I need to do is to go to school to make better wages for my family and create more opportunities for family bonding. Another thing that I need to do is give you some space while having set rules present. As a teenager right now, I know from experience that if your parents let you do whatever you want you’re going to end up doing things you shouldn’t. At the same time I know friends parents that are way too strict and I can’t stand it. Hopefully I can find a happy medium for you.

I have generated a list of things that can help you live a happy life. These are some things that I have told myself will help you out when your growing up.
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I need to let you have independence.
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I need to have our family have sit down dinners to bond more.
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I need to take time off of work to spend with you.
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I need to keep you away from drugs and tobacco.
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I need you to have loving parents that will stay together.
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I need you to have self confidence.
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I need to help you keep your grades up.
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I need to punish you without grounding you. I know that whenever I got grounded I would just want to rebel, but if my mom would try to work out an issue with me I could handle it much more maturely.
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I need to take our family on vacation annually.
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I need to try to get you interested in extracurricular activities.
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I need to teach you to pick the right kinds of friends.
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I need to help your grow up and learn.
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I need to help you learn respect for others, honesty, bravery, and confidence.
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I need to keep you interested in religion. I know that I couldn’t stand it when people wanted me to go, but now it’s my choice to go and I have given three sermons at my youth group in the last six months.
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I need to let you get interested in sports at an early stage. I wish I could have played at a younger age but neither of my parents would take me to play.
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I need you to have a big loving family.
Notice the last point that I said. “I need you to have a big loving family.” I know what its like to feel isolated around people when you don’t have family with you. It’s a bad feeling when everyone around you is going to Christmas or Thanksgiving with their families and you have nowhere to go, and I would never let my own child have to go through something like that. Also I know I sound hypocritical but I want to keep you in a house with a full family of a Mom, Dad, and siblings until your eighteen. I took the hard path and have to work to live at seventeen years old and wouldn’t want one of my own kids to have to go through that. So if there is one thing that I want you to get out of this is don’t take your family for granted, because you will only realize how important they are when you can’t have them back.
I want you to live with me and I want you to want to do things with me. I want to work on cars with you and I want to watch football games with you. I want to play basketball outside with you and I want to work out with you. I know that being a guy isn’t always as easy as it should seem to be. Sometimes you need another guy to talk to whether it’s your dad or your friend.
A lot of this may seem unconvincing coming from a seventeen year old, but trust me, I took a hard path in life. I know I want you to have a better life then I had growing up and someday you can grow up and meet the girl that you love and know what its like to have a good life, good childhood, and a loving wife and family. Anyway just know that even though I have no idea who you are yet, I only want the best I can possibly do for you.


Sincerely,
Tommy