There’s a specific reason why i don’t like to ask for something from others whether it’s food, borrowing something, or even just tagging along.


That’s mainly because of my uncle and aunt, they treated me differently then the rest of my siblings. I was the oldest of all but that was no reason for them to treat me the way they did. They treated my siblings as if they were so special and me as if I was not! If i were to ever ask for something it was never a yes not even a maybe just always a definite no! Thats how it’s been since the age of 4 to the end of last year. I could never figure out why they were like that and I still cant to this day! I mean I see pictures of me and them when I was at the age of 4 and younger but I was so special to them before and my mom always told me about how much they spoiled me.


I remember this time...my uncle and aunt hurt me sooo much! It has nothing to do with physical pain just emotional pain. This memory is like screwed into my head...I remember every little detail from that one moment! About five years ago in the middle of the summer my aunt was going to have a party for her friends and their kids. Well that day our family ended up having a little bbq for all my uncles, aunts and cousins. They would come over eat and just have fun. As soon as i heard my aunt was coming over I knew it would be the perfect chance to ask if i could maybe go over to her party with the kids. I sat in the room and thought of all the different ways I could ask that would be nice and respectful enough. I even thought about all the responses I could get back and what excuses she might make up. I was kind of expecting the worst, but it’s not like it was going to kill me if she said no. Later on that day I asked and she answered no! She said she wasn’t going to take anyone else. That there was going to be enough people already. That was definitely not a surprise to me.


I kind of figured that exact thing was going to happen. So i just went inside..I was laying on the couch when i heard the door open and close very slowly. I thought it was my little brother playing around trying to scare me again. I soon realized it was my aunt...I knew something was going on because she was tiptoeing so quietly towards my room. My door squeaked quietly as she opened it but I didn’t turn to look because I knew she would soon turn to check and make sure that I hadn’t heard her. Of course she ended up looking towards me but i pretended to keep watching t.v. I could hear her whispering to my little sister as if she were trying to hide it from me. I knew what she was up to though. I understood every word she had said very clearly. I could hear my little sister answer very quietly but with excitement “yes”, and then I started to hear alot of scrambling in the room. It brought tears to my eyes that my aunt did that to me. For some reason it hurt me even more as I heard my aunt say ”sssshhhhh” to my sister. Trying to keep her quiet, trying to keep me from knowing. I was so hurt I could not believe my aunt would sink that low.


Out of all these feeling’s running through my head, the biggest one was confusion! I’m still confused about why they treated me the way they did. What did I ever do wrong to make them treat me differently? I would think and go over anything i had said or done to make them mad or even disappointed in me, but nothing ever came to mind! My confusion soon started slowly turning into hatred...but then I realized I didn't need them to spoil me and take me everywhere.


Overall, they treated me differently and that’s part of what made me today. I can’t say I hate them for that because I like who i have become. I should actually be thanking them for making me stronger and not always being babied by them and relying on them 24/7.