This is not a story of reality. It is a story of my alter-ego, Vienna Denala. I don’t know where she came from. She just appeared one day. A fragment of myself, or maybe I am a fragment of her. I can’t tell if I am narrating her life or my own. It’s hard to describe. It’s a life where I’m not human, I’m a mythical creature. I’m special. I have super powers. I can weave spells. Destroy my enemies. I can do anything and everything. I’m great. I’m famous. People know my name. They paint my face on posters. And chant my name aloud. My very name can start a revolution. I am the epitome of success. Of cunning. I live life on the edge, to the fullest. I am a people person. People want to be me. They are fascinated. Even my enemies secretly want to be my friends. I am a highly regarded super model. Oprah can’t book me. I can control lightening. I can control the elements. No one dares cross me. I’m invincible. Even when I die I come back to life. People love me. Multiple people. They want to be with me but I can’t be tied down. I fight murders blindfolded. I can sing. My voice is known to make people cry. I dance as though I was born to, which I was. They call me the kings’ dancer because I used to dance for the kings of the land. I am flawless. I am perfect. I don’t exist. I will never exist. Vienna Denala is a figment of my imagination. It upsets me. I wish I were her. Sometimes I feel as if I am. But I live in New Hampshire. I hate when it’s really hot. I hate when it’s really cold. I like the White Mountains. I like the beach. I don’t have a boyfriend. I only really have two friends. The rest are temporary. I don’t really feel a connection. I feel as if I’m losing one. Feel as though everything has to be edited for her Christian ears. She loves god. She believes in God. I don’t. Not really. I believe in people. That people create their own destiny. We are alone. Yet we are never alone. We have each other. Some say that is the best part of life. The part you share with others. The love part. I hope to find out one day. As Vienna or as my real self. I don’t care which. I need to make my dreams come true. And I don’t need to be anybody to do that.
A memoir of my alter-ego
May 23, 2011