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Between me and him and our unconditional love

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Someone once said, " Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life are things that die inside of us while we live." And all of us have lost something or the other, some of us got over it, some still carry it around. And I've overcome so much in my life, but there's one loss that dwells in my heart and my mind and I felt it then and I feel it now and I'll probably feel it forever. It's the loss of my dog. Most would say, you know he hasn't died, you just had to give him away. Somewhere along the line that does make me feel safe but the feeling you get when you come back home after a tiring day, the feeling that someone at home is waiting for you, that someone cares unconditionally no matter what you do in life and that someone will love you even if you're the most screwed up person in this world, that feeling has died within me. And according to me that's the greatest loss in life.

I'v personally witnessed death of a loved one and I've seen peoples worlds being snatched from underneath their feet and sometimes I'v been one of those people but never in life have I felt so incomplete, like vital part of body is missing. I gave him up because my mom was growing sick and the hair that he shed made it worse. My dad said that the dog doesn't get enough space to exercise and he doesn't get the freedom , there's is no place where he can run freely whenever he wanted to. Everyone added by saying, they shit; they pee;they break stuff blah blah blah. And, I can't disagree.

I just wanna tell them, think as logically and rationally as you want, but don't take away from what he gave us. The amount of joy that he brought to my life cannot be judged. The little giggles and the tantrums and the chasing your tail and puppy eyes and countless other random things that brought purity in our everyday lives, don't negate them. He deserves that much.

They say sacrifice is the purest form of love. So I made a sacrifice for the one's I loved.
I still clearly remember the day, I made the decision of giving him up, It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. You get up in the morning with the feeling that you have what you'd always wanted, a tight family and a dog and friends and happiness, and then within a few hours you land up with a feeling that you lost uncountable and unmeasurable amounts. How does that work?
But the thing that kills me the most is " we don't wanna talk about it." Now, that is unfair and cruel. You take away my life and I'm not even allowed to ask you how he is, or talk about what I feel.
And, Every single day I pray for courage, the courage to let go and not make things difficult for my parents because of what i want. And, I pray for his happiness and that wherever he is, there're lots of things to break and a huge space to run freely and lots to chew on and mostly there are people who love him more than I do. Because my baby deserves more. More than what i could give him. I believe that with all my heart.

Some people say he's just a dog, he's just dog, he's just a dog. But then why do i cry every single time I talk about him?
I don't agree with them. He's not just a dog. He was my saviour. He brought meaning to my life and I can never forget that. So sometimes I walk among those people but not for a second do I forget to wish for other peoples happiness. Because that is what my dog has taught me . That is what 'just a dog' can teach you.





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