Why is life such a pain...cussing life out is just adding to the fire...why does it even matter what i say now...WHY HAS IT EVER MATTERED??? i mean I'm just there I'm neutral and annoying. i don't solve solution, i easily complain and wait...i cant hide my emotions for they just spew out...harder. I'm not Important to anyone. I haven't 'changed' the world in anyway. I have yet to find love and not stress...I'm immature but when i try being mature(serious) people don't believe me. I'm a roller coaster and at the end of the year that roller coasters gonna piss of the wrong people and hs will never see me...again. That roller coaster you say? those are just undefined feelings 'other' people don't understand and i guess screwing up is my nature so NO hs I'm not going! besides i don't get why i don't want to go home, i mean any normal child would die not being with there 'family' but me HAHA what is this word called family?...the household I'm in is a prospering family. I'm just the cancerous cell...but my mom HAHA if only if only i lived a humbler life...this is why i envy people no not because of looks or materialistic stuff but FAMILY those people you wish were dead just because they 'over care'? switch with me! haha I'd love my own family reunion and that crap...aunts and uncles that over-hug you (: BE BLESSED AND GRATEFUL to have that....

just another crap of complains I'm not looking for solutions of (:

just another emotionally odd person

just another lifeless annoying Immature over-talking over-stressing perfectionist complicated fat ugly emotional underdog

so come on life when will i blow back and screw it again huh? just let me get my stuff ready now and ill be out life! why did i need to be here anyway life? life isn't replying....wow

and i know i have problems and i SCREW UP!!!! i don't need reminders,

...I'm not thinking of suicide or cutting so don't accuse me, i just think negative so yeah i don't want to here that "why u so ____<----- fill in blank with adjective haha and YES IM CRAZY!!!! i don't need anyone saying this or that...and if you want me to leave I WILL I'm not needed here anyway, just kick me like a small pebble, because that's what I'm muted to now...not a move-less mountain anymore...a pebble :/ sad...IDC!!!!

so why cant i be perfect? ASK GOD!!!!

well at least one things good:

i know how to admit and accept

see how i went on and on when no ones gonna waste their time reading this? amusing :D

*this has been a minute or two inside my head, my thoughts,wants,needs,craves,laughs,wonders*