All I seem to be able to do lately, is apologize, forgive, and remember every moment, good or bad, that I spent with my adoptive family. its almost christmas, and I'm alone inside. my family is having a good time... and they make it painfully obvious that they do not think of me once. all I think about is them. every message I leave them makes it harder and harder to do what people say I need to do- say "f*** them". love and pain are two peas in a pod, and this right here proves it. how much it hurts to love them, and yet I can't stop. how do I let go of something so important to me? this is real, the second set of parents have officially found something more important than my brother and I- if only I knew what it was. I am dead to them, but they have never before been more lively to me. mom, dad, I love you with all my heart. PLEASE take me back!