A Letter for Change

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Dear mama and Daddy,




Our family is going through a lot of stress right now. Everyone is confronting major obstacles and at the moment, those obstacles are numerous and very powerful. They are so dominant that are view of happiness is blocked. It’s like when a huge truck parks right in front of your window and you can’t see the sun and everything is no longer visible to us. Leaving us in a dark and obscure room. The good part is that we know the sunshine is still there and we can HOPE that the truck will drive away sometime. We just have to hope that it wont be raining by the time that happens. But waiting isn’t the only option. Maybe if we could communicate positively to the driver and let him know how unhappy we are. I learn all the time that barriers can be broken and walls can be destroyed. Yet I also know that communicating doesn’t always workout. Especially because who you are communicating with is stubborn. Therefore often we really do have to wait. There is always a choice even if your options aren’t always positive. And often someone gets hurt. For example in my life I am really confused right now. My two best friends hate eachother and they are making me choose. If I choose one of them and then talk to the other. I loose the one I chose too. I’ve tried communicating but that doesn’t work. So now they are awaiting my answer. No matter who I choose at least 2 people get hurt. Me and one friend. I pretty sure of my choice but it is so hard to explain to the one I don’t choose y I didn’t choose them. I panic everytime I try. He has such a strong influence on my decisions that everytime I try to tell him he changes my mind. All this peer pressure is really overwhelming. It is almost like going to RICA. All our family can think about is when I go. What about before I leave? What about the weekends when I’m home again? The truck is still there. What makes you think it will budge? It’s not like it’s set to drive away when I walk out our front door and don’t come back. Maybe you could negotiate with the truck driver. Figure something out until he moves his truck. Light the dark room you’re in with a candle. The sunshine/ happiness itself may not be as important right now as light to guide you to the happiness. It’s the path you take, the choices you make. Choices are difficult. You’ve made yours without thinking about my feelings. You suffer so much that you are obsessed with making your life better. I’m the one leaving! I’m not saying RICA won’t help. But it won’t solve all of our problems. I’ll come back and so will that truck! I feel lonely because I have no one there to support me anymore. I have no one to talk to. I don’t have any hugs. You simply don’t respond to me anymore. You push the truth farther and farther away. It hurts so much not to be heard. And my insisting always turns into a fight. Then I’m blamed. You have no idea how to stop the fight that you use your authority as a reason to control me. When you threaten me it’s because you give up. You’ve made your choices. But it takes time to make things happen. I believe, as my parents you have responsibilities. Right now, is one of those times when responsibilities are needed so much that it’s overwhelming. You don’t use them anymore. By not using them you can’t feel like a parent. By not being an effective parent I get out of hand. You try… yes… but the truth is you are out of practice. I think you give up. You cant stand the truth that things are deteriorating that you neglect the facts and anybody who tries to make you realize that they exist. For example me. It is very frustrating to see my mom and dad give up. I mike your life rough and yell at you when I’m not satisfied because I don’t want to give up. Your lack of caring just makes me want t oppose you. Human beigs always want what the can’t have. Dreams and goals often get old and are forgotten. But you haven’t forgot about your dream. You dream of a peaceful life of perfection. And it has to be your way. You find the only thing that is stoping you from making your dreams come true is me so you are trying to get rid of me. I, Zoe, am the only explanaition to your problems. And it hurts that you subconsciously think that way. I know I’m mean to you but its because I need to feel love in my life just like every teenager on this planet. That’s the way I am. I just don’t want to turn out like you. I don’t want to give in. I tell you that all the time. I feel stronger as you weaken. Teenage years are difficult and I wish you would remember your own. I need to be heard. I really do love you guys. I am so frustrated and i believe that you are avoiding the opportunities to make things better. You are trying to make all the decisions and my ideas mean nothing. What ideas? Listen next time. You just make things worst when you make all the choices. As a family we have to discuss things instead of using the ancient saying that parents are superior and better than their children. All families disagree but not every disagreement has to turn out the way it does. I try to talk but it makes me angry when you automatically assume that you are in control. Obviously nobody is in control. My temper is insane but I think that sometimes I’m a bit more rational at times than you are. That’s why my ideas count too. I don’t enjoy critising but sometimes it seems like the only way to make a point. Deffering important topics is building up commotion in our household. Also, me leaving is not the onl choice you have/had to make. Here is the real question:

Do you want to step up and help this family get better or do you want to sit back and watch this family fall apart?
Suffer or improve? The answer should be easy. It is a choice we all need to make. Something to work on. And no one can do it alone. It takes a family to coopertate.
I will work on not screaming as much to but please do your part as well. But sometimes I cant help it and when I do please don’t mention this letter. I feel guilty all the time. Sometimes I can’t help but believe that this is all my fault. I love you. And Daddy, I’m sorry if I didn’t appreciate it as much in the past when you tried to comfort me. I yelled at you. I hope you will continue to care about me as you did. I need a home. I love you.






Love






Zoe





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